Sex Ads and Voluntary Vulnerability

26:11:05 AM

形部一平

I did an sex ad for Abigail and now I need to understand what I feel about it. The post is “I look like a spideers junkie but is only make up. I swear virtual honesty. Interested? Leave your comPerson’s number below” followed by a portrait of Abigail in a blank chroma-key blue screen. It was published online in a place dedicated to nonprofit sex advertising. Although, posts like “I pay for sex” are not rare. The most common are the ones from users that just want more profiles on their contact list to look at when they feel like having casula virtual flirtation while they procrastinate.

Those voluntarily exchanged personal data expires in 360 hours or after 3 uses, that’s supposed to be the funny part. You can write it down on other app if you want and still contact that user in other platforms. Nothing will hold you from meeting that user again, be it via comPerson or live. And there goes the eHarmony remaining user’s posts, they believe that love may awake via virtual interaction and bloon in 3 dates. Of Course the site promote happy ending stories of people that actually meet in real life and fell in love with the comPerson’s operator too. I almost did a eHarmony account once, but it would cost me more than my 44 streaming service together, no way.

Most people use their virtual life to support their real life self, becoming a flesh and bone version of their comPersons and publishing live their autobiographies. My comPerson is Abigail and that’s the name on my advertise post. My real life name is Bedélia Helena, but I hate it. I’m not like my comPerson in real life, honestly, it’s because I want Abigail to be more interesting then I am. Is there any honest way to be somebody else? I think it’s possible, I want to consider her existence an experiment on human social relations, a way to express my true self through someone else. My comPerson info will always bring to Bedélia Helena, I am not trying to fool anyone, they can look me up, if someone wants to see my meat face I’m willing to accept a visit in real life. Abigail is not me. I am no better then someone that actually want to be just like their comPersons in real life, we all play roles and show who we are based on what we want to be. I just don’t wanna be myself in my comPerson once that I could be someone else.

When I bought Amelia I was fat — but I was okay with that — but because of what was available to me on the markets I end up choosing a slim body. She was second hand so I decided to keep the vintage aesthetic and adapt it to create some cyber lill candy angelic nurse from the 30’s look on her. She is very cute but looks glitchy sometimes — that’s why the speeders joke — to me, that’s part of her charm. I like the experience even more with this kind of interference, I know it sounds creepy, I think it’s more “human” to live with her flaws that I consider aesthetically pleasant. But also because I have gave up trying to find a fix for it.

It’s not like who put those advertisements online have nothing better to do with their comPersons, but it’s fun, and I swear, even addictive. Does it fills the void in your soul or helps you to find meaning in life? No, but it can No, but it can lead to good laughs with strangers, momentarily makes you feel less empty, at least does for me. I guess. Since May all comPersons come with this function. Abigail only has it thanks to printed parts to run an open source version that is actually better than some branded ones that don’t match other available sex functions on the market. I adore it, can get really intense. I heard about it be easier to hack, but there is no 100% risk free way to do it anyway. It’s about having your comPersons’s encryption on first place always, be careful and trust no one that doesn’t give you a scan from less than 15h ago.

I received about to 135 contact numbers from actual people, 323 from bots. It’s not that I don’t like chatting with bots, or that I don’t agree with people who date them, I had bot lovers before. But now days I feel like challenging myself into finding a human with a meat body that can be hugged. I want to find someone who want to be know, psychologically and physically. Bullshit, I’m not sure what I want, but I have some clue on what I don’t. I Lost hours stalking profiles, finding some more bots, I end up choosing 86 to send a message. I was ignored between first and second message by 60. From the 26 I talked in 4 or more social networks I end up ignoring 19. Most of them only wanted me to send a message to them at a certain time, like some pictures, or me to share with them videos of Abigail in sexy poses. With 7 I got to comPerson match with sex. Ok, it’s late now and this diary feels silly and pointless.