Why Is It Bad?
This week’s submission is a two-in-one, so strap in.
Making sex all about the orgasm is like having a two-hour long four-course meal where everything is bland except dessert, and that dessert is a bite-sized macaron. Your entire meal is judged only on whether or not that macaron is good enough. That’s way too much pressure, and a huge waste of food. The same is true of sex. Focusing all your attention on orgasm will make you super nervous, which might make you get there too fast, or not at all. Either way, you’ll feel disappointed. That can lead into a whole snowball effect. You can feel like a failure in bed, and you may grow to fear sex because of the constant negative reinforcement.
It’s a tough call, but the second part of this week’s submission might actually be more harmful than the first. The idea that you are responsible for someone else’s pleasure is rooted deeply in our culture’s psyche. There are more layers to that than I could ever explain in one post. What you need to know is this idea robs you of your ownership over your own pleasure. That can create doubt in yourself over your abilities, whether or not something is wrong with you, and it can lead to resentment towards your partner(s). All this negates the pleasure and connection you are trying to experience.
