Uncovering your Fear

Vacations are wonderful ways to get your natural rhythm back. I also see if as a way for me to have my true “me” come back to the surface after weeks and months of work, assignments, and stress that clouds and obscures who you are.

My vacation took me to the ancient green mountains and valleys of western Newfoundland, Canada. It was an amazing sight to behold and it really put into perspective how small each of us are in the grand scheme of things. But even with that, we can each harness what is unique about ourselves to stand out and make a difference in a way that no one else can.

It is a messy process

It sounds so…civilized…as I write this. But in the moment of being surrounded by nature, it was anything but: I struggle with letting go of my routine — I let define who I am. I am vulnerable when left alone with my own thoughts and dreams. I am inundated by regret, goals, fears, and excitement.

It is a struggle at first, but then something happens inside of me. I stop fighting it. I let it all wash over me and cascade all of the thoughts, emotions and feelings and let them all have their moment in the spotlight. Those feelings are there for a reasons. They are part of who we are. If the point of a vacation is to reboot, recharge and renew, shouldn’t you let yourself do this?

The process isn’t pretty. There was one night in particular, fueled by Newfoundland Screech, that I’m not particularly proud of. But being surrounded my friends and being honest with myself I learned two things. Don’t take things personally, and do something new.

Hello, fear.

The biggest barrier between me and doing those things is pretty simple: Fear. Fear is such a key motivating factor for some people. It defines who they are, what they do, their careers, their relationships, and their happiness. At first thought, that situation sounds pretty sad. It may be sad, but it has been something I have relied on for years. My fear has guided me in my life, but it has also kept me from many opportunities that I never pursued.

So now I face two sides to myself. On one side, I see that my stress and unhappiness was built and strengthened by reacting to my fear. On the other, as I let the stress and build-up fall away I have a clearer view on what I need to be happy, but with a catch. I need to overcome my fear to do it. Which path do I take? Is there a path?

Link to depression

In an earlier post I wrote, I talked about depression. My depression comes from two different sources. I need to have an environment where I can dabble and explore many different things without any structure, but on the flip side, need to focus on a handful of things and have specific goals that I can meet. While both seem counter to each other, if they are both balanced, there is a unique unlock that I am confident will fuel me.

But I can’t be unique in this situation. There are many factors around fear that limit others. I have been exploring more about the topic as it relates to education and training and I need to look into my own words to get direction on how to handle my fear.

A signpost on the journey

So there are no “answers” or “solutions” or “guidance” that I can offer right now. Not yet at least. But sharing this important signpost is important on my journey. I hope it is valuable for yours.

Republished from this article on LinkedIn Pulse

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