Intense

“Come in. Don’t wait outside. It’s cold”

Richie loves to scold in his very sibling way. Richie is one of five people in the universe that is allowed to scold or “handle” me. When the vp of product development remarked how he was surprised that I was an only child growing up, my response was “Richie is as close to a brother that I’m going to get.” I find that living an unsegmented life takes continuous effort.

So, there I was,11:30pm-ish on a Wednesday night, settling into a spot at Delfina, fiddling with my phone, and waiting for Richie to finish up so we could grab a bite, adult beverage, and catch up.

I am familiar with this scenario.

While I was fiddling with the phone, I re-watched his recent video, which definitely elicited a bittersweet reaction….no less potent then the first time I watched it. He has a talent for storytelling in multiple mediums. After watching it, I thought about 2015.

2015 was intense. Intense moments that were heartbreaking, bittersweet, joyous, and unexpected.

For the heartbreaking

• the end of hapa

For the bittersweet

• when I deliberately broke one of my own rules about not interfering and enforced a practice session for the parts unknown interview….and somehow found myself subjected to episodes of Silicon Valley afterwards…as punishment? Perhaps.
• making family cocktails at Richie’s first popup back at cdouble’s place
• various “I’m-leaving-sf” parties
• when Erin said that she already missed me when she stepped onto the ferry
• Gordon shipping me a much loved crack pie and it starts the thread of me missing new york, london, and paris.
• when I found out that multiple people terminated their projects because I was no longer their editor
• distancing myself

For the joyous

• after violence, finding out that loved ones were safe
• weekend with D
• Erin hanging out in the kitchen while I made her bun rieu
• Merritt using me as a couch
• Richie’s late night Alta popup that was more like a reunion
• My first time at Zuni
• attended my first bris and being able watch the baby brown wolf gnaw on my hair while I held him. Seeing Amy and Joe so happy reminded me that the world can be an amazing place.
• Chelsea’s treats
• Gifted with a bottle opener the shape of eye glasses. Nerd love.
• celebrating a former boss and now friend’s new gig at Rich Table with his husband
• Amy on the radio re: bagels
• JB & pluto
• the Frank Gehry talk
• accused of being an enabler because of the booze and treats I constantly bring into the office
• dining at coi in december 2015 with C. Both of us completely understanding what it meant to do so.
• discovering pairing burnt white sage and siete leguas blanco tequila (seriously)
• thanksgiving cocktails
• almanac’s barbary coast. my favorite of Jesse’s beers.
• product team offsite = watching force awakens at 10:30 am
• writing in my voice without the cover of an alias

For the unexpected

• not being able to taste anything for six weeks
• praise from the crankiest vp which made me turn around to make sure he was talking about me. It wasn’t just me, there were others with mouths open in surprise.
• sipping on the yardbird coffee shochu
• the stripper at the strip club. if you were there, then you know what I’m talking about. If you were there and missed it, well too bad for you.
• when the game developer just hands me his phone to play a game he’s developing
• enjoying aziz
• eating star wars themed cookies and drinking Japanese whisky with Gordon at the airport during the never-ending layover
• when the chief product officer asks me to own additional areas, starting in January 2016.

These were just some of the moments that were twirling around the brain while I was having breakfast and adult beverages with Richie after work. While we were catching up, it was definitely a reminder that I am fortunate in friends and chosen family.

I recognize that I am at a crossroad and that certain decisions I make in 2016 will define the next stage of my life. I am peering at 2016 with an open sense of curiosity, fully aware that it will be filled with challenges and puzzles.

I do love a good puzzle.