(Living) a life of regret …

Recently I had a dream that I was laying in a bed waiting to die. You came into the room and right away started to hug me. I began to cry … I awoke from my dream crying … not tears of sorrow but tears of joy. Only after I realized it was a dream did I taste the sorrow in my tears. I fruitlessly tried closing my eyes calming myself down trying, trying to get back to that embrace. Yet that moment … that feeling … it was gone. Even knowing I was dying in my dream … I so wished it to have been true. I would have done or given anything for it to have been true. There is not a day of my life that passes by that I don’t think about you and all the harm I have caused you. There isn’t a day that passes by that I don’t yearn to be able to some how change the past or some how fix the future … knowing I can not do either … I continue living a life of regret.