connection

Two weeks ago, we were an hour into our flight from DC to San Francisco. With everything that has happened since we arrived, it feels longer than that, but it’s one of those things where, at the same time, I also don’t know how we’ve been here this long. I’m feeling more like myself with each day that passes. My spirit is finding its groove again as I explore my new city and make connections with folks here, regardless of how small or superficial the interaction. The other day I had to drop off some dry cleaning that I found while packing, and as the woman behind the counter finished writing my pickup slip, I extended my hand as well as a new thread in my web. “Hi, I’m Emily; nice to meet you! I just moved in down the street.” And just like that, Leona became a part of my network, another link with which to ground me and remind me that I’m not alone in this universe.
As an extrovert, being the new girl again is exciting, every person I encounter a potential friend or acquaintance. The space that has opened for possibility — possibility of everything: love, friendship, adventure, community, fulfillment, etc. — is exhilarating and life-giving. It has brought a new found energy to my heart, which, in turn, electrifies my outlook, relationship and motivation, among other things.
Though these ups aren’t without their downs, I’ve tried to simply be in the moment when I feel a little ache of homesickness or desire for “before.” There have been a few times when I’ve really missed Flow Yoga Center and Dharma yoga, especially this weekend on Guru Purnima (a day to remember and give thanks for our teachers). And I try to remind myself that the sweetness and richness of that community experience didn’t happen overnight. While I won’t find exactly that ever again, something different and perhaps equally love-filled and beautiful is out there. What you seek is seeking you. According to Rumi, anyway. I believe that to my core; and with regards to this new life adventure, I can already see it happening in certain ways, especially in my relationship. (But where are the Dharma yoga classes, for real, San Francisco? This girl needs some kapyasana and seven-minute savasana.)
I’ve found that our mini expeditions into nature have been nourishing and restorative, and helpful connections to Mother Earth. One day, Mike and I took a coastal hike and spotted some whales swimming in the ocean. Another day, we went for a sunset walk at the beach. In a couple of weeks, we are going camping at Lake Tahoe for the Wanderlust festival, two days (for us) of yoga and music and hiking and immersion in the natural world. The more time I spend in nature, the more grounded I feel. I’ve always loved being outside, but I’ve never really felt the urge to be one with the earth until now. Even in certain lifestyle areas, I’ve been inspired to connect more with my natural roots. Case in point: getting nearly all of our produce from the farmers market (it’s so much less expensive here, too!), switching to natural soap, deodorant and shampoo, ditching my bras for camis and bralettes (embracing my body’s natural shape and size!), switching to all-natural cleaning supplies and even ordering a pair of Thinx (a modern take on an old menstruation garment concept) and honoring my inner goddess during my cycle (it sounds like hippie jargon when I read it aloud — ha! — but all I mean is treating my mind, body and heart with a little extra love and patience). And while taking these steps is, in part, psychologically comforting knowing that there is at least one less chemical between the product I’m using and my body, I’m feeling simultaneously more connected to the earth and more like myself.
I feel so grateful to be able to make these changes to my life. Having the luxury — time-wise, financially, etc. — of choice is such an enormous privilege, and I feel blessed to be able to even think about getting back to earthy basics. With all of this opportunity, I think, how can I give this back? With this privilege, how can I serve others, the earth? With grounding and connection made possible by choice (privilege) comes a responsibility to pay it forward.
While I understand that transitions are not without their setbacks (see last week’s post!), I’m relishing these past few days of blissful connection and expansion. The sunshine in our neighborhood (I’ve learned that there can be at least a handful of climates within a half-mile radius, hence the specificity) is echoed by the light in my heart. As always, thanks to those who have showered their support by the bucketful. You inspire me to find my roots and bloom where I’m planted. Om shanti.