There’s More to Life Than Living for Others — 003

You are the only definite constant in your life.

Proceeding through life living for others without return is a nonsensical venture for several reasons.

  1. There are seven billion people on Earth, sacrificing your own experiences and health for friends — especially those in high school — has little merit. There are so many different types of people that you’ll meet in life that will pay you back with interest and do the same for you.
  2. It’s bad business. There are countless articles on toxic relationships and many social media posts by people who are abused on their struggles. Most of the time your best option is to retract your investment and get out of that particular market.
  3. Dependency is a bitch. When you’re dependent on someone else, your growth is closely related to theirs and most of the time, for the duration of the relationship, you remain stagnant because you have no time to think about anyone or anything else.

There are dozens of reasons why living for others is inane and maybe the most important one is that you don’t develop your own self. Your identity will never be established fully. You’ll have how you act around the person most important to you and a myriad of other personalities for other people. Achieving your goals without a strong sense of self is fruitless; how are people going to invest in you when you don’t even know who you are? You may have some kind of identity that you want to develop for your significant other or someone you like, but when they leave, you’re left with only 20–40% of your personality depending on how invested you were. Your house burns down and and you have to rebuild from almost nothing. You waste life’s most valuable resource; time. Time that could have been spent cultivating skills, self-awareness or relationships goes to waste and there’s no way to get it back.

I spent several years of my life not understanding what repercussions that my decision to blindly follow a girl would have. They’re still hitting hard now. And we both ended up worse for wear in the end. My view was too narrow and I ended up not seeing what was around me. Emotions are almost like a stopper for your brain’s rationale. So much of what I was doing didn’t really make sense, but my emotions responded positively, so I continued.

At the end of the day, there are things to be gained from being in these types of relationships after they end. The adversity you face going through it and how high the mountain is that you have to climb after it ends can bring you to much greater heights. It all depends on your mindset and your will to climb that mountain. It’s not a simple task, but the rewards are great. You will know the hardships and pain required to work through that type of situation and grow because of it. You’ll learn that sometimes being a little selfish is okay. People’s lives should not be dictated by others, let alone willingly. Be your own self and be yourself. There’s more to life than living for others.

There’s More to Life (TMTL) is a project surrounding our perception of life and how at times we can be short sighted in seeing what it has to offer. TMTL will be a daily post based on suggestions from comments and personal conversations. Every day is accompanied by a picture I shoot and you can see those in full, here. Today’s TMTL was suggested by my good friend Emma, and has a lot of bearing on her current identity. She writes really well and has a blog you can check out here. Same place, tomorrow for TMTL — 004.