#80 Expectation vs. reality

Reflections on a trip to Dateland

Shadi Mirza
Jul 20, 2017 · 2 min read

Several years ago, the wife and I decided to visit our friends in San Diego. Along the stretch of the I-8 between Gila Bend and Yuma, the place I’d affectionately refer to as “Arizona’s sphincter” if anyone ever brought up the city of Yuma in casual conversation, is a swath of barren, sandy nothing.

Well, that’s not exactly true. There’s miles and miles of fence — not the kind that Mexico has no intention of paying for, but the ominous, keep-out-or-we’ll-send-you-to-Guantanamo kind. What I’m saying is there’s an air base there. Then, when you towering palms and fields of dates emerge from the desert, you know you’re in Dateland. And as quickly as it came, whoosh, there it goes in your rear view.

But if you decided to stop there, either because you have to pee, or you’ve heard the stories (as I did), you’ll discover a bustling little tourist trap with overpriced gas and a wide range of shakes, the most talked about of which is the “date shake.”

Wow, you must be thinking to yourself, a shake made from date-flavored ice cream? Golly. And, at this point, I’m going to do you a favor and not bury the lede (any more than I already have). The shakes suck. But let’s say that you researched these bad boys before you started the drive out of Phoenix, and you’ve been building those date shakes up in your mind for the past few hours.

You wait in line, pay your $5, and then it hits you: soft-serve vanilla ice cream blended with entire chunks of raw dates. You drink, nay, chew a quarter of the shake before you throw in the towel, because you have dignity — enough to know you’ve been swindled harder than a voter in the American Midwest. After some quiet reflection, you pay another dollar for a magnet (for posterity) and continue on your way to year-round gorgeous weather, beaches and a terrible job market.

That isn’t to say that Dateland doesn’t have its merits — it boasts one of the nicest rest stop bathrooms I’ve ever seen. So feel free to stop here and take a load off, figuratively and literally. Just don’t try the shakes.

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Shadi Mirza

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Marketing sherpa. Digital content wonk. Serial blogger. Not following your passion is like dying a slow death.

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