#97 Dogs

How do people live without them?

Spilling food on the floor gives me pause. I think to myself, “Where am I?” Because if I’m at home, it’s a non-issue. Either my black Labrador, Bailey, will swoop in to take care of the issue, or her much nimbler brother from another father, Max, a chocolate Labrador will handle things.

But when I’m not at home, it’s irritating. I stare at the piece of food for a couple of seconds. Why do I have to clean it up? Every place of business should have a dog in addition to custodial staff. And if I spill something in your home, you’d better have a dog. I mean, I wouldn’t even set foot in your house if you had a cat because I’m allergic to them. But dogs just simplify life.

Yeah, they poop a lot. And occasionally they rack up ridiculous vet bills. But they love you unconditionally for the lamest things, like rubbing their bellies and taking them “bye bye” in the car.

Dogs rule — especially if you’re a clumsy doofus like me.

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