Astrological forecasts for parents.

Shaka Gleeson
Sep 1, 2018 · 3 min read
Photo Credit to Anastasia Dulgier

Aries: Venus (bonding) is poised to join Ceres (sharing), but until that actually happens, your children will bicker over who gets to play with the empty tissue box.

Taurus: We have a Uranus standstill this week — a planet that is all about freedom is locked, or blocked into position. Which probably means your baby hasn’t pooped for two weeks and you’re terrified of leaving the house and having to deal with a tsunami of bodily fluids at a cafe. Trust your gut (Prune juice is also helpful).

Gemini: Jupiter-Pluto squares as Uranus standstills in the heavens, asking you to do what is required (wash, hang, sort and fold three loads of laundry), and also give yourself some downtime — read: hastily scroll through social media while on your toilet break, facilitated exclusively by Makka Pakka, Upsy-Daisy, and Igglepiggle.

Cancer: The focus is on the childlike elements in your life, as well as the home, thanks to Jupiter in Libra, your fourth house. You may want to buy a pregnancy test and start looking at a bigger rental property. Not all contraceptives were made equal.

Leo: Mercury in the zone of cash flow and Pluto influencing your daily work means your particular way of working starts to pay off, but you may struggle to balance the budget. By which I mean using AirTasker and UberEATS to cover yourself this week is something you will regret in the long run. $7 for chips? Seriously!

Virgo: with Ceres moving through cancer, you find yourself juggling your friends and errands. Pro tip: go grocery shopping together (pay no mind to the looks from the cashier at your local boutique organic store, especially not as your small army of children manhandle all produce stacked below three feet).

Libra: this week is a question of attitude. Who has more? You? Or your toddler when they refuse to touch the loving assembled lunch of organic, home-cooked whole-foods, with expensive supplements hidden throughout? You! Eat it yourself, you had too much chocolate with your tepid coffee this morning anyway, and need to fill the nutritional abyss that is your personal food pyramid.

Scorpio: the great lesson of Saturn in Sagittarius is that you have to work hard to make the financial reward real. And, apparently, running on three hours of sleep over a 48-hour period isn’t hard work and won’t contribute to your superannuation account, so you better start looking at whether or not your extended family can move in and help with childcare.

Sagittarius: Your ninth house is all about adventurers and explorers this week, so it might be time to bite the bullet and buy one of those kiddy-leashes. Or perhaps a tasteful back-pack with a leash. Honestly, whatever it takes at this point.

Capricorn: Uranus is standing still in your zone of property and renovations. So hide all markers, crayons and pens until further notice, lest the estate agent spring a surprise inspection.

Aquarius: This week is about adapting and adjusting (every week is a leap week!). Uranus is in your house of thoughts and ideas, so following through on one of your 20+ Pinterest projects for the house, or even the kids, would be a good way to get the ball rolling. Or a movie day, whatever works.

Pisces: With Mercury retrograde in Virgo there is a lot to be said for getting rid of dead wood. Or the bags upon bags upon boxes of old baby clothes and appliances. And the newborn book. Face it, that ship has sailed.

Shaka Gleeson
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