Mousetrapped

Agatha Christie had done her magic ages ago. But now it was the time of one of my friends who did it for me by getting me a pass for this engrossing crime thriller. What big deal? Couldn't i have gone for a play all by myself ? Well yes indeed i could have, but not at Taj Palace, and certainly not with such a high profile guest list gracing the honor — there were Diplomats, Bureaucrats and Political veterans. The People of The Society. Merely by their dressing sense one could tell the royalty they carried with them. The simple yet opulent apparels were verbose of their standard they held. Their aura testified their social heavy weights and their well chosen words endorsed our perceptions for them. The air had a fragrance of intellect and the ambience was convincingly composed, with a lace of elite English conversation all over the hall. I might be missing on other rampant senses but my ears are sharp. Some conversations i overheard

“She is my Devrani. Her daughter works with Arnab Goswami. *whispers* she is actually waiting for the day he gets slapped on camera. *laughs*

“The operating profits will manifest from 2017 onwards. Before that the challenge is going to be how to get the assets liquidated”

“With crude going down, the deficit is going to be positively impacted”

None the less, the show stopper for the evening was the Show in itself — The Mousetrap, the longest running play in the history of London. A suspense thriller story of a lunatic murderer avenging his traumatized childhood. The story was compelling and direction was flawless. The actors and their prowess was ineffable. Each one suited so well in their roles doing justice not only to their characters but to every part of the play — Delivery, Dressing, Diction. Especially the last one. Their cadence and tone of English was so flawless it appeared they were not Indians at all. They were English! I saw the actor who played ‘Christopher’ after the play and he still was exactly the character. Completley submerged! Such were the level of efforts put in. Truely Stupendous! The level of applauds can be gauged by the fact that the Chief Guest, Lt. Governor of Delhi,commended that the play was enacted better than what he saw in London. Lovely evening followed by a soulful dinner. Such compelling evenings with so much in store have their offerings come a bit more subtly than one expects. That’s the latent beauty.

Afterthoughts! which help one see beyond the surface. Probe beneath what is visible and what should have been observed. From a purist view, the play was meant to be for entertainment, and it served its purpose. What really led me to contemplate on the evening gone by was the Title of the play — The Mousetrap. and my fantastic ability to join the dots (even the ones that don’t exist) got me thinking, am i a mouse in a trap ? Inadvertently, i posed the question to myself. The sub-conscious mind (which many believe tells truth always) gives an immediate shocking answer — “YES You are in a trap”! but when i ask why it stays silent. dead silent. i shout at it WHY. TELL ME WHY? no response. i beg, please tell why. The silence continues. i give up asking that mythical piece of selective talker. But the damage was done. The idea was planted. “YES You are in a trap”.

But How and why are still in the abyss of unanswered. Join the dots someone says. I don't see many dots i reply back. Well then, make them! And so i do. And in that pensive mode, I start thinking of the families and the guests and crowd and the people. And i find the aura they carried had a tag attached to it — Achiever! these guys with their dedicated efforts in the right direction were able to achieve the pass to the grandeur play of last evening (mine on the contrary was the result of an overheard conversation of a generous friend). Were they the one out of the trap, i murmured to myself. Coz so it seems. Bureaucrats, or their immediate family, they were. The top strata who lay out the lines which others toe. The Thinkers. The Challengers. The Achievers. But they would not have reached this position overnight. I mean they would have slogged for years to be at that position. Its not at all fair to compare their today with mine. The difference of age and experience needs to be factored in, i convinced myself. True. But they did start to have come this far. To have burnt their night oils, make sacrifices, chalk out a plan and implement it. And then i think the silent portion of my mind woke up again and asked me “Do you have a plan?”

Realization dawned (probably even lightning struck somewhere).Oh probably earlier i didn't. But yes i do have a plan now. I need to go for Administrative Services. Now believe it or not, i did hear a facepalm, not sure from where. “Not a kneejerk reaction, idiot. Do you have a vision? any firm plan. What is it you would like to do. how would u like to see yourself in future. how would u like people to describe you, or your spouse to introduce you or your children to boast about you? Arent you a typical example of the mouse that runs on the wheel. Day in Day Out. with the intention of reaching the end in glory. for he doesn't know (or chooses not to know) there is no end. and no glory for certain. As you continue this way the only thing increasing is the radius of the wheel. the fruitless efforts remain all the same. Think it through. You are a mouse in a trap”

So what do i need to do to breakout ?

Expected enough. the voice went silent again, leaving me with a baffling query and an introspective thought. i know that’s correct. i am no different than any run of the mill in the rat race. probably i would never break out of the wheel. or if i do i might not be accepted. or acknowledged. So the compromise remains in terms of the returns i avail being in the comfort zone. taking the easy way out at every crossroads of decision. May be i will never be like the ones who attended the play yesterday. the top few percent of the society. the ones making a difference or following their heart or breaking the viscous circle. I will remain a common person. one amongst the populace who searches for and feels delighted to find a free pass to a high profile event. who envisions to cut the crowd but never could muster enough courage. who wakes every day with no excitement for his life. who looks upto the movers and shakers of the society and dreams his children will be one of them one day, conveniently passing the baton. but remains trapped in the binding convictions of self ineptness and under confidence, even more helpless than the mouse on the wheel. at least the mouse is not cognizant of the world outside.

After such a long chain of thoughts what does i did realize was that thoughts too like the wheel are a viscous circle leading to no one to no where or may be back to the same question again.

So what do i need to do to breakout ?

The mystical voice made a brief poke again “Try Experimenting”.

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