Why I Quit Instagram: The Effect Of Social Media on My Mental Health
I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with social media, particularly Instagram. But I never wanted to quit and not be part of the social media experience out of fear of missing out. After all, it’s where all the cool kids hang out, right? But deep down inside of me, I never felt like I belong to any social media platform.
Just like everyone who joins social media, I had this desire of having a large amount of people following me. I thought that having a large follower count on a platform like Instagram, would give me success and happiness in life.
I read countless blog articles, took courses, watched YouTube videos, and listened to podcasts on how to grow my Instagram account. Not to mention the hours I’d spent studying the pages of social media “gurus” trying to copy what they do. I longed to see hundreds and thousands of people liking and commenting on my posts. I craved that type of attention. And I was envious of people who were where I wanted to be when it comes to social media success.
Chasing the Dream
When I graduated college in 2020 with a degree in Marketing, like all graduates I began job hunting. I sent my resume to countless jobs but never got a response. When I couldn’t land a job, I started doing research on freelancing. I discovered a world of young graduates like myself who have started their own freelancing business. And they were seemingly doing well.
So I decided that instead of “wasting” my time job hunting, I was going to launch my career by freelancing and offering my services on social media. But no one warned me that it wasn’t as glamorous as it seemed. I was determined, so I created a separate Instagram account so I could share my services and establish myself as an “expert”. Through that account I found a “community” of all sorts of social media marketers from managers to copywriters. I was excited, soon enough I started spending more and more of my time trying to make it on social media. I had 2 goals, build an audience and land clients.
I purchased courses and listened to the advice of the so-called social media experts. The advice was to “post consistently, engage with your audience, follow the latest trend, create Reels, etc”. I was on my phone from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed (even in bed I would be checking Instagram). I didn’t want to miss out on the latest trends. I was so consumed. I was busy all the time, and didn’t have time for anything else in my life trying to get my “business” off the ground. I didn’t have time for my family. I neglected my relationships.
I found myself so out of my comfort zone trying to jump into the latest Reel trend, acting silly behind my phone camera. Because the experts swore Reels was the way to go viral. So here I was making Reels. At the end of the day, I would feel very discouraged and invalidated when my posts didn’t perform well.
I felt like I was doing so much and yet accomplishing nothing. Every time I log onto Instagram or LinkedIn I would see posts from the “gurus” that made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough or that I was doing it wrong. (I swear if I see one more post about posting and engaging consistently, I will lose my mind).
Realizing the Dream Wasn’t so Dreamy After All
My account wasn’t growing as fast as I wanted it to. I had 2 clients but I wasn’t making nearly enough money to take care of myself. And when I lost those clients, I started pouring out more of my time on social media, sharing content, still seeing no ROI. I felt overwhelmed and anxious all the time. I was following the advice that the “gurus” says worked for them, I still wasn’t seeing the result. I started playing the comparison game. After a while I became very discouraged. I struggled to land a new client, I had to come to the realization that I needed a regular job to support myself.
But still I hadn’t given up on my dream of building a business on social media. I told myself that I was going to work a regular job and freelance on the side (not a bad plan). I thought of nothing but of the day when I was going to stick it to my boss and quit my job and go full time freelancing. I convinced myself that I just needed to take one more course, create a new social media strategy, and give it a little bit more.
Until I realized the impact chasing that dream was having on my mental health.
Social Media VS My Mental Health
I became so depressed when I couldn’t make that dream a reality. I cried when I saw other people my age seemingly living the life that I was chasing after. I was comparing my life and my self-worth to a bunch of strangers on the internet. I found myself going down a very dark and dangerous path if I didn’t stop soon enough I was gonna lose my mind.
As days went by, I couldn’t see any success. every time I checked social media platforms like LinkedIn and Instagram and somebody announced that they got a new client. I would feel like a failure. It was like torture so I started hating social media.
I had to take a step back and ask myself a few questions such as is this what I really wanted? Why am I letting a bunch of strangers on the internet tell me how to live my life? Do I really want to be a social media manager and spend every waking hour scrolling and interacting with people? What is my reason for wanting this lifestyle?
Truth is I didn’t even like social media like that in the first place.
I Quit
After mulling over the idea I decided that I was going to quit social media. First thing I did was delete every app from my phone so I could avoid logging in. I wanted to stay as far away from it as I could. Every day I check social media a little less. As days went by, I realized that I didn’t miss it. That was when I decided I was going to deactivate both my personal and business Instagram accounts. I have no interest in going back.
Although I didn’t deactivate my other social media accounts such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter, I’m no longer an active user. I eliminated Instagram because it was my main trigger. for depression.
My Mental Health Improved
Ever since I’ve been inactive on social media, I spend less time on my phone, I cut down my screen time from 7–8 hours a day to 3–4 hours depending on the day. I don’t have the urge to take out my phone and take pictures of everything, I live in the moment. I’m content with what I got in life. I have a better relationship with God and my family. I am no longer as anxious and depressed as I felt in the past year. My mental health is improving every day because I’m no longer comparing myself with other people. I accept my shortcomings with grace and take things day by day.
I decided that I was no longer going to be controlled by those little apps. These apps were created to control our lives. They’re designed to keep us addicted, they’re a form of substance. They might feel good in the moment but the feeling doesn’t last very long. Experts compare social media with slot machines. Because of its ability to keep you playing the game with a potential reward until you realize you’ve been played (at least some of us do).
