Trip to India, Dec-Jan’15
Important assignments are full of surprises and uncertainties this time. Visa issue took unexpected twists and turns, some because of our overall unawareness and lack of foresight.
Anyways, the visit has been awesome so far, as I spent an ample and adequate time at all places I enlisted as my priorities. The classification of migration we planned, worked well, although I had to visit Delhi for Visa issue quite often. Had an overwhelmingly delightful moments going to visa and hanging out with my sis in CP, Murthal etc.. They really were enjoyable moments, singing songs during torrential downpour, travelling on the metro, unnecessary or useless laughters gossipping about weird people in our family. It was a total mirth.
The other day I was analyzing myself why I’m unable to enjoy with the people here in the US. We share the same language, same lifestyle. All are sportive and pleasant; have cute kids to play with; all occupy themselves with american attitude of not expecting too much in social. Everyone in our social gatherings are cool, helpful yet I find it a liability to attend these parties, which appears in two months or so.
First reason I assume is lack of comfort. May be I have categorized myself too much into the barriers of close ones and socialites. I always create two columns of people within my mind where I categorize and perceive them accordingly. But that’s not my fault though. Somehow, this helps as well. For the social zone, like with whom I deal in the US, That’s something like outer world. No demands, no emotions, no expectations, and no give and take. I find them very super-conscious about what they speak or do; super scared and conscious for making others happy and for not disturbing their social terms. Always imitating. copying one another, hate to hurt others; love to go with the league. One has thrown a party; same thing the other will do next weekend. One is celebrating his son’s birthday in a particular restaurant, other one will do the same. No creativity, no opinions. Parroting one another. Therefore, I perceive the social world totally fake and I handle them mechanically. I deal just for the sake of dealing; I enjoy just for the sake of enjoying, convincing myself that I’m an accommodating one, who never feel out-of-place in such stupid parties; I never add any emotions to it though.
On the other hand, my Mom-Dad-Sis, di-dada-bhabhi-in-laws, Ankz, Tanna, Jhuma, Maddy, Yashoo, Manas or my dear relatives come into the close ones zone with whom I enjoy by heart. My permanent pictorial day-dreams regularly involve them in the picture not only because I love and accept them, but also becoz they love and accept me the most in the world. And this is the most ecstatic feeling which makes me light. They are happy in my happy moments and ready to make me resilient in my momentary ‘so-called’ petty sorrows. Above all, they have a certain kind of individuality and realism/purity which makes me connected. They never do what they ought to do. They simply do it, what they feel like doing, or what’s coming straight from their heart. They don’t think too much or get conscious of what they do. For some reasons, one simply wants to learn from the realistic ones.
Thus, this categorization, as of now, really helps me in maintaining my cheerfulness and spontaneity.
Being in India back from the west, for me is more:
Like entering the soul world after long stay at the physical world;
Like meditating in my musical room after day’s long ostentatiousness ;
Like listening to old hindi Lata-songs or Jagjit Ghazals after returning from lady Gaga’s night out.
Like relishing dal-chawal-achaar after months of junk diet.
Like travelling into hotpotch, crowded, pathetic metro after driving alone on the perfect freeways for hours, that super-vexing metro is more peaceful though.
Like having steam bath after rigorous taekwondo kicks;
Like being kissed by the gentle drizzles, after staying black in the scorching sun; as the gentle drizzles accept you embrace cheerfully with all complexion.
Like being caressed receiving peaceful warmth from the Sun God, after getting released from parka due to five months of snow;
Like sitting on the beach taking after being rescued from the tidal stampede;
Like sitting on my Dad’s lap after attending bunch of mechanical guests since weeks;
Like Mom’s gentle hands caressing my head while oil-massage after having met an occasional failure.
Like…. Like….Like…… now I’m getting tears….
Anyways Love you sooooo much MOMLAND…India!!!!
