Yes, you read that right. A friend of mine is throwing a grown up slumber party for just us girls tonight. Games, foods, drinks, and lots of laughs in her she shed. I can only imagine all the fun. I didn’t get invited to too many slumber parties growing up, and find it funny that now is the time. I have another slumber party coming up next month at another friend’s house. Once again, just us girls. My current group of girlfriends that has developed over the last 2 to 3 years has really helped me realize the importance of female friendships. Several of my childhood friendships have kind of fallen off some, and I make excuses in my head for them. I’m single and they are now married, some married with children. However, now I have my close knit girlfriend crew and they are all in long term relationships, married, some have children, but we realize the importance of keeping our friendships strong.
According to Psychology Today, women thrive with strong relationships with our girlfriends. These friendships provide an outlet for sharing our problems and thoughts. One of my friends in particular may the heavens shine upon her, because I have come to her and poured all my problems out. She has offered advice when I needed it, but has mostly been a listening ear for all of my drama. My drama has been vast these last couple of years. She became the one to make sure I went outside to get some sunshine, that I exercised, that I ate well, or that I even ate at all when I was going through a depressive episode.
Women are also very intuitive. I’m guilty of it where you just get this strange feeling you should call or text to see how someone is doing. There are also those times where you’re being told by a friend that they are doing fine but you just know that isn’t true. My friends sometime scare me with this ability. I’m on a diet and really wanted that hamburger. I go in to take that first juicy bite. Incoming text. What are you having for lunch today, Shana? Now I’m looking around to see if I have cameras in my house. A few days ago I got a text from one of the sweetest people I know and it said God laid it on my heart to pray for you. She didn’t need to know my story in that moment but she knew what I needed. I needed someone to show they cared.
There is some science behind why these friendships are important. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, women with early stage breast cancer were four times more likely to die without these types of friendships. Those with a larger group of friends had a higher survival rate. The Mayo Clinic publication states that these friendships increase your sense of belonging an purpose, boost your happiness and reduce stress, give you self worth, help cope with traumas, and encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits. Like that hamburger. It also mentions that having a strong social support decreases your risk of health problems such as depression, high blood pressure, and obesity. Also these friendships are very helpful when that life partner dies or divorce happens. Older adults who had a great social life tend to live longer even after their mate has passed. I personally ended up in a romantic relationship where he made a point to limit my contact with friends and family. After our 4 year relationship ended, I felt very alone. Now I had to rekindle old friendships and try to find new friends. I vowed to never let that happen again. Imagine if that relationship lasted 10+ years.
Of course having a family makes keeping these friendships strong difficult, but like any relationship it does take work and effort. I don’t see them every day, but we make time for each other at least once or twice a month. It could be for just a few hours out of the day. Let’s go to brunch on a Sunday, trip to the beach, slumber party, or sometimes there isn’t a plan at all we just meet up. I appreciate the friend who sends me silly texts and memes every day. Also, thanks to the internet I have some friends up north that I face time and text back and forth with almost every day. There are so many different ways to build your support system just know that you need it. This last time I went to see my doctor, I mentioned that I started seeing a therapist. Before I left, she whispered to me that my friends would be more beneficial. Just stick with your friends. So I have enough medical backing to keep these ladies in my life. Plus, we have to plan our next girls trip and that alone makes me happy.
