Your you-est you

Old people are lonely. That’s why they talk so much. That’s why they could talk to you for so long. About what type of milk you drink or your heels. Time inches along and they are so lonely. My heart aches for their loneliness. Honestly. I imagine it’s hard to find new ways when you get a certain age. Hard to change. So they are left dreaming of what was…searching for that…to no avail.

I think the only real cure for loneliness is finding yourself. Your real self. Not the one everyone wants you to be. Not your mom self or your spouse self. Not your stuck-in-routine self. Not your dazed and confused self. Not bleeding into someone else’s self. A determined, loving commitment to oneself. So much can flow from that.

Dependency is loneliness. We want someone else to provide for our happiness while we aren’t even putting in the work. People always let us down but its not always because they want to. Sometimes they can’t help it. If they have an off day. Or they aren’t on your plane of feeling today. Or if they died. They can’t help it.

Clock in and grind for your happiness.

The trick is in finding whatever it is that would make you less lonely when no one is around. Where are you your you-est? How? When? What do you love? What makes you dance?

Some of us will still have moments of loneliness. Those of us who desire fellowship and companionship. Go out and get that too. There are lots of people searching for the same thing.

But I think finding company in oneself alleviates some of that need. In its best possible design, companionship becomes a want and not a need. I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone to carry another’s loneliness for long. It gets heavy and feels like work. People can resent that.

So figure it out. Let it thrive. Feel alive. Settle into your peaceful heart. Here’s to finding your you-est you.

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