Ah here

I didn’t write again yesterday. This is getting ridiculous! All I’m asking of myself is to write a simple, short blog post on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It’s not that much to ask, is it?

Well, to be fair, yesterday, you were a bit busy. Not to mention, you made time in the evening after work to meet a friend that you hadn’t seen in nearly six months. You then got a late train home and ran into another friend. By the time you got home, it was almost 9pm, and you had been on the go since 6am.

Okay, maybe I’m being too hard on myself.

It’s okay to slip every once in a while; no point in beating up oneself when the big picture is the thing to focus on. You are attempting to achieve something that most people don’t bother to even think about trying. At times, I feel like I may be setting the bar far too high for myself, but when am I to know when the bar is too low? Hard work, perseverance, creativity, these are traits that I possess, so what’s really stopping me from applying these traits to what I want to do? My self confidence.

I have struggled for years with confidence issues, be them mental or physical, social or personal. The voice in my head, like everyone, plays such a large part in the things that I decide to do. The important thing is not silencing the voice, but learning when it’s being useful and when it’s not. Of course I trust it when it’s telling me I won’t make a train that’s in five minutes and I’m six minutes away; but there are times when I want to defy it – ‘I can definitely run that distance in less than six minutes’ I tell myself.

“You can’t write a book, let alone a good one, you are deluding yourself even trying” said my mind.

I couldn’t help but let the words work their way into my very being. That level of self-doubt can’t be healthy. Resilience is always something that I’ve possessed in quantities immeasurable to those who haven’t had a difficult life.

“You have no idea what I can do” I say defiantly to my mind.

Until the next time, your friend,