2017 Dialogue-Writing Challenge: Day 17
Scott Myers
1

EXT. LONDON CITY — NIGHT

The year is 1794, KENNETH a young educated miner from cornwall, finds himself seeking accommodation and a woman for the night. He is wearing his finest liveries and through the fog of rain we see KENNETH being led by a small man to the front of a pub.

KENNETH:

’Tis a small vaulting school, is it not?

The small man, smiles and nods and leaves KENNETH standing out the front of the pub. KENNETH fixes his lapels and enters.

INT- BAR — NIGHT

KENNETH finds himself in a dusty rowdy bar, filled with whores and lawyers. KENNETH, a little tipsy already, seeks the brothel keeper and makes his way to the bar.

KENNETH:

Good day to you, the abbess in?

BARTENDER:

No Abbess here mate…

KENNETH:

No? Is this not a house of civil reception?

BARTENDER:

To whom may it concern?

KENNETH:

Only too I, good sir.

(beat)

My assurances; I am no hanktelo, though my hair is a coat of soot and my arrival in town follows a turn in cornwall. I am not to hang an arse, I require a good academician and a bed. I ask only for an apple-dumpling shop to keep me warm through the blashy, sir.

BARTENDER:

(beat)

You seem an honest duke of limbs.

(beat) Magdela is upstairs. Tell her blythe sent ya’.

KENNETH:

Good evening to you, sir.

KENNETH makes his way up the staircase in the back of the bar. At the top he finds a hallway, with scented candles leading towards a small red curtain.

MAGDELA:

Evenin’, sire.

KENNETH:

Madam, I am here for your finest draggle-tail. No time to waste I am indeed gallied.

MAGDELA:

Be this a fegary, sir? We have only the finest game pullet in this establishment and no tolerance for a brandy-face.

KENNETH:

I joke not madam. I am not flawed, but I am gallied. Services are required, if you please.

(beat)

Blythe told me you could be of help, if this is incorrect, I shall take my leave.

MAGDELA:

Well, sir. It seems you are indeed a herring-gutted young hemp.

KENNETH:

How dare yo…

MAGDELA:

If you were to not leave of your own accord, there may be some gentlemen off the hooks willing to take the owl with a paper-skull such as yourself.

KENNETH:

… a Paper-skull!? It seems you have saddled the wrong horse.

(beat)

Madam!

KENNETH turns on his heels and exits the chamber of MAGDELA in a huff.

END FRAGMENT

Slang Reference:

http://georgiarefugees.tripod.com/oldslang.htm

18th Century Slang Index:

A house of civil reception — a brothel

Abbess — a woman who is a brothel keeper

Academician — a whore

Apple-dumpling shop — a woman’s bosom

Hang an arse — to hold back

Bailed man — a man who has bribed the press gang for immunity

Blashy — rainy weather

Brandy-face — a drunkard

Bung upwards — on his face

Draggle-tail — a nasty, dirty slut

Duke of limbs — a tall awkward fellow

Fegary — a prank

Flawed — drunk

Game pullet — a young whore

Gallied — hurried, vexed or over-fatigued

Hanktelo — a fool

Herring-gutted — tall and very thin

Young hemp — a graceless boy

Off the hooks — crazy

Paper-skull — a fool

Take the owl — become angry

Sawney — a Scotsman

Saddle the wrong horse — lay blame on the wrong person

Vaulting school — a brothel

I found this an interesting exercise. I created the added challenge of trying to write in period.

C&C Always Welcome

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