Pondlife

3rd April 2017;

Whatever happened to Baby Jane? I’ll tell you what happened to her… she rocked up at the ornamental gardens in St. Anne’s at about 10:30 this morning.
The Main Squeeze and I arrived back in our room after breakfast just in time to catch a lady dressed in a baby pink Bo Peep dress and crinoline, complete with wide brimmed be-ribboned hat, roll up at the gardens across the road for what appeared to be a photoshoot. 
She was accompanied by a frumpy middle aged dame wielding a pretty expensive looking camera and they proceeded to take a few snaps. However we noticed that each time the lens was pointed in Bo Peep’s direction she would turn away from the camera. ‘Perhaps she’s trying to strike a demure coquettish pose’ I opined.
This went on for some minutes and I had a quick tidy round the room. I retuned to the window to check on the progress of this somewhat odd photoshoot to find the photographer lady, IN THE DUCKPOND splashing around in the water as if she’d dropped something in… though possibly not. She then leap out of the pond and ran off down the promenade.
‘I can’t stand this anymore’ I said to MS. ‘I have to go down there and find out what’s going on.’ So I ran down the hotel stairs, through reception and across the car park. As soon as I hit the road I slowed down and tried to look all nonchalant and as if i’d come down to admire the pond and the flowers. (just about stopped short of whistling too). 
I approached Bo in a roundabout way to find that she was, in fact, a full on geezer! About six feet tall with a prominent Adam’s apple. ‘Oh dear’ I thought to myself and then set about looking in the direction that the photographer had gone… nowhere to be seen.
I did another circuit of the gardens for a second butchers at this character, just to make sure that my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me when the camera lady came back. Not a lady at all; and with a voice a good bit deeper than mine. After all the splashing about in the pond the guy was soaked from head to foot and the hideous blouse he/she was wearing had become transparent! He’d neglected to stick on some underwear, and let’s face it, no-one wants to se a middle aged man with tits in a wet top. So they stood around smoking for a bit and then shoved off in a fairly expensive looking car. 
This is the oddest incident I’ve witnessed in quite some time. I thought this carry on was just hilarious though VERY poorly timed! There were a fair few small children knocking about the gardens and pond and I thought this bizarre comedy duo were quite unnerving, so Lord knows what a nipper would’ve made of it.

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