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Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

Here’s what I think: menstrual cycle planning needs to be taught to girls in schools worldwide.

Because what good is it knowing how to insert a tampon into your vagina, if you don’t understand the ways in which your cycle effects your mind and body?

What’s really going on with your hormones & what this means for you

The term PMS gets thrown around a lot — often as an explanation for why women are emotional and/or irritable just before they start bleeding.

But your hormones are actually changing right through your cycle, and they effect everything. …

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Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

Can beauty pageants ever be empowering for women?

I’m asking the question, because truly, I don’t know.

My honest answer, before researching this article, would be no.

A beauty pageant — that heavily focuses on, and scores a woman’s physical appearance — can never be feminist or empowering. But that was my opinion before I began to dig deeper into the history of beauty pageants, and what the women who compete in them have to say.

It’s no coincidence that the cosmetics industry in America emerged at the same time as beauty pageants; seamlessly promoting a culture of beauty to girls and women. …

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Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

In my twenties, online dating officially became a legitimate thing. It wasn’t for the few anymore, it was for the many.

And although I resisted it at first, the eternally single me eventually gave in. Because let’s face it, I wasn’t meeting any great men anywhere else. So I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Plus, I think there’s a lot of growth to be had by testing our self-imposed limitations, and doing things that scare us.

But my online dating story is kind of short and sweet. …

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Photo by Engin Akyurt on Unsplash

My mother is a Christian, and my father is a Buddhist. I dabbled with both while growing up, leaning more towards Buddhism than anything else.

But I have since opened my eyes to the ways in which modern religion dis-empowers women, and men, just in subtler ways.

It wasn’t long before I shunned modern religion for spirituality and yoga.

I believe in the Universe. I believe in the Divine. And I believe in Source energy. I also believe in the Great Mother.

What I don’t believe in is patriarchy. A privileged male elite, that claim the spirit and mind are superior (and male), while nature and matter are inferior (and female). …

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Photo by Leisarà on Unsplash

It was 2015, and Sophia Amoruso had just released her much anticipated book, #Girlboss.

I bought it the day it came out, and devoured it in the space of 24 hours. I already knew much of Sophia’s inspirational story, but I was eager for any more golden nuggets I could find and use in my own life.

At the time, I was working as a fashion buyer for a well-known UK high street company, while side-hustling with a fashion startup. But I was hungry for more. The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what I really wanted.

Did I want to stay in fashion and set up my own label? …

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Photo by Mango Moon Photography for Shani Jay

Today I turn 30.

I’ve been excited to turn 30 for the past few months, and now I’m finally here, and it feels surreal. Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed; all over the space of one night.

I’ve left my twenties behind, to welcome in a new decade.

And when I think about it, my twenties were a period of huge growth:

  • I graduated from university
  • I got my first real job
  • Then I switched careers, and started all over again.
  • I had my first relationship
  • I travelled the world and lived abroad
  • At 26, I wrote and published my first…

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Scott Goodwill — Unsplash

Do you remember this line from the 1999 teen movie, 10 Things I Hate About You:

“You don’t buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.”
― Bianca Stratford,
10 Things I Hate About You

There’s also a meme I saw a couple years ago — shared by someone in my network on Facebook — that pictures a woman with the accompanying words, “If she’s wearing black lingerie, that means she wants sex.

The same is often said about a woman who’s wearing matching lingerie of any kind.

No doubt, these were all penned and popularised by men.

I can remember sitting at the kitchen table having a similar argument with my dad and brother a long time ago. I can’t remember how we stumbled on this topic, but I was arguing that women wear what they want for themselves, not to attract or please men. …

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Photo by Clayton Cardinalli on Unsplash

I graduated with a BA in Fashion Design back in 2012. That summer, I applied to hundreds of jobs, in design, pattern cutting, buying, and merchandising.

And all I got was stone cold silence, or one no after another.

No, you haven’t made it to the next round.

No, you’re not what we’re looking for.

The only job I managed to successfully get was a job as a designer out in Zhengzhou, China. It was paying £800 a month, with my accommodation costs taken care of. …

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Image by Kalibri — owned by Shani Jay

Isn’t it strange how one email has the power to alter the entire direction of your life?

I still remember receiving an email like this in 2012, while at university, studying fashion design.

It was from a start-up fashion company, and they were scouting for untapped talent in universities across the U.K.

Over the course of my three years at uni, I learned that I was hungry for something more than just a 9–5 job and a steady paycheck. I also re-discovered my love for writing. But I still enjoyed fashion, too. …

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Mango Moon Photography — for Shani Jay

What I learned from living in Bali could be written about for months, and make up a whole book.

That’s the power of breaking habits, following your soul path, and daring to do something that seems a little crazy to the outside world.

I always dreamed of taking a year out, and travelling the world. But somehow, like it always does, life just got in the way.

I prioritised my education and career above adventure and play. There was never a good time to drop everything and go. So exploring took a back seat.

I never thought I would be someone who could look back and say, I quit my job, and moved to Bali for a year. …


Shani Jay

Founder of She Rose Revolution, Author & Feminist On Fire. Write & publish with us at & find out more here x

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