The usual route
So how do I spend my life so far? Yes, I woke up, prepare myself and go to school. I started doing this since 4 years old, and now I’m 18.
Do I like it? Yeah. School is fun for me. I got to meet my friends, I got to learn about new things. I got to see the outside world, how the social life should be and what kindness is.
I learnt that each one of us have different stories and personalities. It’s amazing. We’re doing the same thing everyday, yet we all have different stories.
I have finished school, and now in foundation studies before furthering to degree. It’s like a midpoint between school life and university life — which is great fun!
Another thing, lucky enough my exam result from school days are good enough for me to receive this scholarship. Not just for studies, but the allowance and house as well.
I met new people, again, with different stories. They are more exciting since I never knew them before. While I’ve been with my school friends for 5 years, they still have new stories to tell.
It’s life?
Some people said I don’t even struggle and some said I struggle too much. It depends on perspectives. For me personally, I think I study enough but not exceeding. Just as long as I know what I’ve been doing when answerinf the tests.
I’m currently in the midst of final. This is my first time sitting for final for foundation. For trimester 1. I like it. It’s fun knowing just how much I can push myself to the limit. But I never reach my limit. When a paper ended, the “I could do that better..” struck me. Not regretting, but as a reminder for the next paper.
Do I like my life now?
I got good grades, I am involved in curricular activities, I have friends. Although I’m not good with sports, I can endure being on the field and have nice normal state of health. My parents can give me money, provide me with my necessities. Is there anything else wrong?
I might sound like a narcissist but deep inside, there’s this empty feeling. The feeling of how am I still useless when others need me. Everything I’ve been doing.. they seem to be ONLY for me.
Nevertheless, I feel alive. I am not a slave for school, but not also doing reckless worthless stuff. I am alive.
I am alive now, although time is flowing, I won’t be wash away
— Nogizaka46 ’s Nandome no Aozoraka
(im working hard studying for finals)
