Telemarketers — Week 7 Power Rankings

The three top teams continue to strengthen their hold on the first three playoff spots, and the vicious fight for the fourth spot continues. With 4 teams at 3–4 and one at 4–3, the last spot is still very much up for grabs assuming the top three take care of business. Communist rule still puts a damper on the free trade market, disallowing blockbuster move after blockbuster move to preserve the balance of power. Recent legislative changes should help, but teams still gang up on trading parties when they’re upset to be outside the action. Dovel has his cronies out to make sure nobody can challenge his throne while the bottom half of the league tries to claw their way up. The stench of collusion lingers in the league office and Kenyan Drake is still on the block. In summary, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

  1. Dovel( — ): The numbers speak for themselves. 195 points saves us from Peter proclaiming himself the greatest team ever assembled (though it will probably still happen). The only hope the rest of the league has is Bell coming back and eating into Conner’s share and the Cousins/Thielen pair coming back to earth.
  2. Veto( — ): Not an impressive win, but a win nonetheless. Quick on the draw to get Chubb after the Hyde trade, he adds to his already deep RB roster. If he can find a willing buyer for some of his RB depth (Salim, Michael), he’s one solid WR and some more consistent TE play away from a squad that could go toe-to-toe with Dovel.
  3. Yes Lawd( — ): Mosley had a rough week with the surprise Gordon injury and the Dalton/Green duo letting him down in the second half of the Sunday night game. When Kupp is back and getting a share of the Ram’s O and Gordon figures out his hamstring, there’s nothing to worry about. But until then, things could get interesting.
  4. Better Call Saul(+1): Saul jumps back in the 4th spot after an impressive win to get to 4–3. On a week where Ben would’ve beat 6 other teams in the league, Saul avoided the upset behind solid performances from Kittle/Odell/Latavius. Ingram was quiet and it’s still TBD what his impact will be after two games, but Marlon Mack looks like a solid pickup for his RB committee. 5th in PF and 4th in PA, he’s done well to have a winning record after week 7.
  5. NoName(-1): I’m dropping NoName to 5th mainly because the Michel injury makes him thin at RB. I still like this roster, but Dalvin needs to get healthy for him because Ito Smith isn’t going to cut it as an RB2 (If only there was a team loaded with dependable RB2s he could trade with….). Baldwin looks like he’s getting back to his usual ways, but NoName will have to make some moves to pick up Ws as he continues to lead the league in PA.
  6. ChampChamp( — ): The Champ had an ugly 99 point outing, but I don’t want to put him lower than 6th. I think when Thompson gets healthy, AB is off his bye, and if Engram can start to click with Eli this is still a really talented roster. Still not a deep squad, flex plays are a bit of a dice roll but a healthy starting lineup here could make some noise. Needs some smart moves on the wire to stay in the hunt.
  7. Johnson( — ): Johnson had a good win with Rodgers and Schuster on a bye, but the outlook for the squad scares me. James White has been hot, but I can never trust the Pats backfield. Diggs appears to be second fiddle to Thielen. Beasley will lose targets to newly acquired Cooper. Jackson cooling off post-fitzmagic. Gronk with the back injury. Javorious doesn’t get the volume to make an impact without finding the end zone. With matchups against Dovel, Saul, and Mosley upcoming, I fear this could get ugly.
  8. 2ML(+1): He’s won three in a row, but definitely has his work cut out for him. His RB corps is decimated by injury, and father time is not on his side. If he can flip some of his stud players for better options at RB, the middle pack is still tight enough that he has a fighting chance if things go his way. Saul, Ben and NoName are three pretty winnable games in the next three weeks, but only if he solves his RB conundrum.
  9. Gruden(-1): To quote a certain individual in the group chat after Veto’s record setting Week 4 performance: “even a blind squirrel finds a nut”. Don’t be distracted by his 173 point outburst that fell short against Dovel. If Cohen/Landry/Sanders/Burton combine for 100 every week, call the man a genius. But don’t be surprised when they don’t, and he has a rough couple weeks against Mosley and Veto.
  10. 3–28( — ): Ben would have beaten 6 teams this week. His opponent was not one of them. Sorry Ben.