My advice to new Military Girlfriends…
Whether you have been in A military relationship for weeks, months or even years…we all go through good and hard times in this life style. The distance is challenging, the worries sometimes get hard, and you make many sacrifices for your SO. But I know that none of us would trade it for the world!
For the girls that are new to this, here are a few tips on how military relationships are and ways to help yourself cope with your SO being away.
- THE MILITARY COMES FIRST.
Although you may be the one person that comes first in his heart, his job will always come before you. Do not take it personal. It’s his job to protect the U.S. the best that he can. They’re will be times when he has to go away to places and cannot tell you about them, or his work. They’re will also be times when he will have to disappear for a while. It’s just part of his job, but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t just as important to him. So stay strong, and support him.
2. THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE HE WILL GET DEPLOYED.
During a deployment there is limited interaction with him, and he is gone for long periods of time. From anywhere to 6 months, to over a year. He can be deployed at anytime, anywhere. He knows you will struggle, but that is the last thing he needs to hear from you. He needs to be focused on his job, and he needs to know that he doesn’t have to worry about you at home while he is away.
3. LOYALTY & TRUST
This is a HUGE part to a military relationship. I know you hear about people that cheat on their SO that is in the service. DO NOT be that person. Staying faithful to him will pay off in the end. Every moment with him will always be so special. The trust between you two has to be strong, because most of the time (unless you are married, and even then at times) he will be states away, or even across the country. You have to be able to trust one another to make it work.
4. SUPPORT & ENCOURAGE HIM
He needs your support, whether he is in boot camp, training for his job, or deployment. Whatever the case may be he needs to know you support him 110%. He knows you will struggle with him being gone, but telling him that will only make him feel worse. Tell him that you’re adjusting and that you are just fine. It will put him at ease, but trust me it’s not easy on him either.
5. HE WILL MISS IMPORTANT EVENTS & HOLIDAYS.
Birthdays, graduations, anniversary’s, holidays, etc. He will not always get to be there. So my advice for this…don’t ever write anything in pen. Everything with the military is go with the flow, so don’t expect for the plans to stay the same because they are always changing. It never hurts to hope he can make it, but don’t look forward to it too much because you will be disappointed.
6. WHEN THEY VENT ABOUT THIER JOB.
When they have had a bad day you can try to offer advice or just listen. But unless you have served yourself, there’s not a lot you can say or do. There will be days they love the military and days they hate it. All you can do is be there to listen and to encourage them when they need it most!
7. YOU WILL GROW AS AN INDIVIDUAL & BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT.
With your SO other away, this will allow you to grow as an individual. You will be without your SO for long periods of time and you have to be able to survive without them. You will become more independent and learn how to support yourself, and do things on your own. You more than likely will not be near your family unless you choose to stay back with them, so being able to be on your own is a big part of this.
8. FIND A NEW HOBBY
One thing that helps me is I keep myself busy. It makes the time go by a lot faster. Whether you try a new sport, get yourself in the gym, join a new club, try to get more hours in at work, or hang out & make new friends. Keeping yourself busy will help you tremendously!
9. EXPECT TO FEEL LONLEY.
There will be times your friends can’t hang out, and times you will just want to sit at home. There are nights where you’ll feel okay, and there will be nights where you don’t and it okay to let it out. There are a lot of “Milso” support groups online that are on Instagram, Twitter and other sites. Having girls to vent to that are in the same situation as you and that can give you advice helps a lot. They are ALWAYS willing to help one another out. So you can always reach out to a military girlfriend for advice or even just to talk to!
10. LOVE HIM WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE.
Dating a military man is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things ever. Always remind him how much you love him, and tell him how proud you are of him. There are many challenges you guys will face, many memories you will make, and moments you will cherish forever!
The waiting is hard, the worries are hard, but loving our men..well that’s the easiest thing we’ve ever done. Stay strong milso’s.