Fuck, man, I almost started tearing up. I’ve been there so so many times before. At my worst, I lost 70 lbs in a Summer just to have gained it all back and then some now.
But it’s important for you to know that your mind won’t always hold you hostage. You’re such a bright person, and you are so crucial in every sense even if it doesn’t feel like it.
We will reinvent ourselves so many times throughout the course of our lives, and we will take so many different forms. You deserve to know that you are beautiful in every single one. You deserve to know that your body is just a container for your light. I’m cheesy as fuck, and I don’t even shit a care.
Anyway, I know this because despite having body issues and problems with food for my entire life, I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can accept everything for what it is and that includes myself. There’s so much more beyond the chains we put ourselves in.
Like, I’m wording this so terribly, but you’re already exactly who you need to be. Your ideal vision of yourself is already who you fucking are. You just gotta let you do you. Let yourself cry and hurt and bleed. Let yourself feel and think whatever it is you need because I don’t know about you, but for me it was never /truly/ about the food or the weightloss. It was about wanting to be worthy. It was about feeling worthless and empty. I began to embody a bottomless pit like no matter how much I ate, I was never full. Like I had to punish myself for always feeling so empty but never looking it.
Idk. I’m just saying I love you even if I don’t know you at all. I’ve read enough. You matter so much more than you can even imagine. You are more important than the highest number you’ve ever seen on your scale. You are a fucking goddess. You got this.