Women are conditioned to associate speaking out or making a fuss with being difficult and argumentative. We diminish our social capital among men in certain environments each time we call out a sexist comment, or stand up for our rights. Our position is already so precarious that it’s just easier to deny, and our silence is rewarded by the men in power. Our safety often depends on our silence.
I understand why many women do not want to live in a world that hates women (and women of color and LGTBQ women in particular), so they choose instead to blame themselves for being too abrasive, too hormonal, too slutty, too bitchy, too demanding. And in this way, they begin to hate themselves, and they become active participants in the oppression of other women when they project this blame outwards.