Accept who you are

You only have one life. One body. No matter if you’re fit or fat, if you are confident, you are happy. And those who say fat is an insult, it’s not. Fat is a description. Just like the word gay, it’s used to insult but it’s a description. I am not confident. I tell myself I am ugly. I am unattractive. I have too many stretch marks. But all of that is in my head. I know I have stretch marks, and so do other people. I know I am beautiful. I know I am perfect in someone’s eyes. But I am not confident. Someone once told me I was annoying and so unattractive because I wasn’t confident and as a woman, that didn’t help. I use sex as a booster. I talk to as many guys as I can as a booster. Yet I do nothing about my body. I don’t know why or when I ever will. I realize I need to find happiness without searching for it in another person. I think I can honestly say I am a sex addict, though. It’s a real thing, it’s a serious thing — but until I can fix myself, I will keep hurting myself. Why? I don’t know. I don’t know when I will fix myself.

Someday. I will be married, I will be loved, I will be confident.

But until then, don’t tell me I am ugly, don’t tell me that I am fat, don’t tell me that my forehead is too big or that I’m too much of a bitch. Wait until I am loved and married and confident. Because when that time comes, you will not matter. Your words will not hurt me. I will not need your dick or your time or your useless words you throw around when I’m riding you. I will be loved, I will be happy within myself. You may have destroyed me now, but I will build myself back up, without you.

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