“University Exam of One” — part 2
A Tale of Embarrassment , Self-Discovery and Hypocrisy
(This is part-2 of series, In order to get proper context, please read Part-1 here )
Next challenging task was to find Exam Hall! For regular student its not really a big deal, but someone like me who is already intimidated by feeling of “feeling out of the place“ and at any time someone can tap on my back with question “Uncle, can I help you with something? “ , it was nothing less than challenge. I dont want to go in too much details, but it took me good 30 minutes. (Its not really that interesting, it was just lot of running around, ninja style walk to hide from students, peon staff while passing through hallways, nothing much really!)
As I enter the hall, I noticed that these are too young kids for engineering college. First thought, are these diploma students? They Better not !! I am not going to spend 3 hours sitting around diploma students, this is really embarrassing. (Ok! Ok!, First, I have completed Diploma prior to engineering, So I am one of them. This practically give me a pass to say anything I want to them, you cant though! and Second, Its relatively embarrassing to other things that are happening here anyway..)
I know that you must be thinking , “how the hell that matters?, Just shut up and write the damm f**king paper!! ”. But No, I was still looking for desperate sign/signal to skip exam, at that point next things could have been on my list —
1. Colors of walls are too irritating, lets get the hell out of here
2. These benches are too hard to sit for 3 hours, I will be sick for weeks after this(yes, I have very sensitive a*s but its normal size).
3. Guy sitting ahead is smelling, I need a room freshener here or I am out
4. Is my car safe? already used insurance claim for this year, do they give two claims if something happens to my car again? If not, I better take care of that first.
When those kids started talking about SOM / TOM subjects, I realized that these are first year Engineering students. Fuck ! Lost another chance ! If they could have been diploma students, It would have been completely legit reason to walk out, everyone would have bought that (Everyone being me, myself, my ego and my desperate soul who still wants to be cool by being dropout), very reasonable you see! But I cant sell that I am too cool to give exam sitting around First year engineering students!!
2 PM, bell ringed, everyone got their question paper, I was on last bench of last line, awaiting very calmly (and counting backwards to 3 hours!! It will be all over in next 3 hours, so just sit and write the shit out of/on that paper), but I guess the whole drama was not really over yet.
Apparently examiner didn’t got my subject’s question paper, All I was left with lousy Answer sheets
This is new, completely unexpected. My hall ticket list my subject very properly but they don't have my question paper !! hmm… Interesting !! What is this means? Is this good thing or Bad? F**k that, let me first sign the attendance sheet, as that would be proof I was there in exam hall, I should also get those answer-sheet filled with name and other details too. Gotcha !
And then it hit me, This is elective subject from 2003 pattern, currently university is rolling out 2012 pattern while this year’s BE batch is on 2008 pattern), So I am very much like a “Ghost from Past” for University.
I should be only one giving this subject exam in 2014, what that means is they were forced to set a question paper for just ONE person. Wow, I did felt special, for that one small moment there. I felt little smirk smile on face that came from sadistic pleasure of giving them taste of there own bureaucracy and faulty system .
After 20 minutes, Fuck they dont have my question paper, and its not my fault, they cant possibly reschedule my exam in such tight examination calender. So does that mean, what i think it mean? If its not my fault, they possibly cant punished me for that, I might have studied for weeks (they don't know that I was watching comedy sketches on youtube for whole night). Does that really means ,
I could be declared passed without giving exam? Awesome!
I started laughing at over-all irony of the situation, I couldn’t be possibly this much lucky, there is just no way its suppose to be this easy. Well, I did went through good amount of humiliation to be at this exam hall, but if I am going to get rewarded just for that, well awesome! I will gladly accept it.
It was almost over 1 hour, I still haven’t got my question paper, a normal person would get extremely nervous, but me (well , we did established it already that I have been lot of things, but never really a normal person !! ) started feeling extremely happy about it. There is no way , I am letting University get over this mistake by simply re-scheduling my exam. (and time for smirk smile, One more time !! )
I checked with Examiner what is going on, he asked me to wait while exam section is trying to figure out the whole thing. I was like “ Sure, take your time, I am in no hurry !!“
Now it was almost 1.30Hours in exam , all those first year engineering kids were sweating there asses off, where as me, already took 3 toilet breaks and haven’t wrote a single line yet. I was having time of my life, you must have heard the saying “Just showing up is half battle won”, but its looks like I am going win it all by just showing up.
While I was lost in my world, I saw exam department staff who I really hate, was running towards exam hall with some white paper in hand. This guy has given me many disappointing looks while I was trying to fill examination form, there were times I wanted to throw him out of building, but then he was the only one who knew the process to be followed for 2003 pattern students to fill exam forms. I had a bad feelings about this guy running towards exam hall, I can feel that smirk smile and sadistic pleasure I was enjoying till now vanishing in thin air.
University emailed scan copy of question paper that was really hand-written on piece of white paper.
F**k ! Assholes !
I took paper in hand, looked at examiner, he was really not happy with this, he uttered the words very painfully, “ You can take full 3 hours, so you have time till 6.30PM !”
I looked at him and said, “Dont worry sir, even you are willing, I dont have a time till 6.30, I would be still first one to get out”
And yes, I did !!
(Next would be Part 3 of this series— it would be last in this series though, if you are curious about Question paper, how long I wrote it and what is the end results, then that is what Part 3 would cover!! )
