Colby presented the classic “yes, but” argument. “Yes, men are what you say they are, but we were made that way, we’re not really like that on the inside.”
It is deflection not acknowledgement. It is a means of shirking responsibility. I promise you, if men decided to stop being raised that way, then they would stop being raised that way. That’s how being men works. Another way being men works: consistent excuse-making for why men are being raised that way. Circle jerk, the Other Logic.
When men collectively agree that they no longer want to enjoy the privileges of being raised that way, then it will stop. So what are the privileges of being raised that way because they’ve educated us quite enough on how “awful” it is to have been “raised that way?”
#1 they don’t have to actually learn anything because they can win a debate and earn a good living just by being intimidating to others. The mad face, a raised voice, a wide gait, a nice 3 point shot, or just straight violence wins every time.
#2 they never have to be accountable as a collective for #1. See “yes, but” above. Also, the “not all men” excuse, the “men too” logic, and any number of other brilliant excuses men can come up with to slide right on by personal accountability.
#3 millenia of telling women they are weaker, fairer, more emotional, more nurturing, etc etc ad nauseum until millions of women internalize these beliefs and begin working undercover for men, policing other women, shaming other women, and helping to create more complex excuse mechanisms for men.
Shall I continue?
Alicen, the original and this response were BRILLIANT!!