What’s a Ghost to do with Darkness?

Do you believe in ghosts? — One of the much asked questions of midnight conversations happening amongst friends and siblings, apart from their gossips on childhood crush. The media and its diligent followers in the society couldn’t be thanked enough for establishing this unrealistic, undiminishing, unbelievable, idiotic yet most trusted relationship between the ghost and the night. You watch a horror show on TV, a movie in theatre filled with fearful scenes and observe the sorcery being practiced in your neighborhood; everything has one thing in common, excepting ghosts — -The night. Now, it’s not just the poor lonely night. The thunder is a must to escort the ghost till your house. They don’t give a shit to nature’s sequencing of seasons, but when a ghost signals its arrival, you’ve got to thunder baby sky, sigh!

Do not forget about the laughter of the woman; the ‘ghostly’ woman who manage to scare the animals, the humans and the trees with her howls. The cat begins to meow than ever before, the humans are petrified but unable to give -up on their ego (quite their behavior) and give a fair competition to bhootni aunty by screaming with equal decibels. The poor trees! They just go directionless in that breezy blustery night. They flutter. Because it’s not that only girls like to swing.

It’s still a windy night. Very windy! When everything’s swinging with the current of the air, including the sofas and beds in the house, there’s one freaking thing that doesn’t get affected at all- Door of the haunted house welcoming the phantom! Technically doors are the first to get banged on a windy day. But oh! It’s not a day here; it’s a night! A horror night! The night when the door open as if it were dying a little slow death, seeming to be the most painful one leaving it behind moaning with that irritatingly scary noise it produces when the wind pushes it.

That is not it yet. The night has just begun. The ghost has just given gestures of its coming. We humans suck in our punctuality but bhootni aunty arrives exactly when the clock ticks 12:00 am. Till then they will entertain you with all your senses active except for the visual one. And the moment it’s 12 your eyes are exposed to a woman cladded in a Tide Safedi waali saree; a TYPICAL woman who prioritizes make-up over everything the moment she steps out of the house. She never forgets to wear that cherry red, shimmering lipstick on her gigantic yet lusty lips that compliments her smudge -free extra- dark kajal. She’s a typical girl possessing seamless long silky hair, big eyes with blue lenses and a smooth curvy body. She’s some serious hot stuff, so hot that her rising temperature blasts in the form of her amusing laughter.

Now is the mammoth scene, the climax: The major miscommunication between Bhootni and human. (Let’s assume the human to be a girl). Without giving a hint, the ghost aunty has set her sight on the poor girl and starts to chase her. The girl scared and puzzled tripping in and outside the house with heart beating fast and shaky legs repeatedly questions “maine tumhara kya bigaada hai”? (What wrong have I done to you?). But much like Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met, ignoring every interrogation, our impulsive Bhootni aunty runs around aiming to suck her blood. And once the girl is killed, comes in WTF moment. “Damn! She wasn’t the one I wanted to kill. She’s just another member of the huge family which my prey is a part of. But never mind, I wanted blood, and I got some. But my soul shall rest in peace only if I kill the lady one I am hunting for”.

You careless, you glutton, you blind Phantom, Fuck You! Obviously you accomplish to prey upon the actual victim later to satisfy your greedy soul. But my point is why the hell you always have to arrive at night if you suffer eye sight problems, who have asked you to leave the hair open fluttering on your cheeks and blocking your view while you run around to catch your false target. The whole cause of the problem is darkness. With age one loses eye sight and our ghosts’ soul staggers around in the haunted house for thousands of years. And since they don’t want to look old and geeky, my advice to wearing spectacles would be retaliated by them with a tight slap. I hereby request all our delusory ghosts to kindly control their ‘Ullu’ ness and learn to sleep well during nights which will help you function better under the sun’s energy and stop unnecessarily abusing the gorgeous nights that has beautiful sparkling stars and a smiling full/half/no moon that inspires us to be acceptable to constant changes occurring in life with happiness.

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