I have been absent. Not because of being busy, but because I didn’t know how to write about what I have been up to. It hasn’t really been exciting. School, work, mommyhood. You know. LIFE! But now I’m back.
In the beginning, I started this little writing project as a way to keep my mind busy and to find something I thought I wanted. I was hurt and i needed to breath and have fun. It became very clear very fast that maybe dating in the midst of all of my crazy isn’t really the point of this entire thing.
I went on a few dates. I met a few nice guys. I thought that maybe one guy could mean something. Perhaps it could grow. I changed my mind. He couldnt make me haply. On our last date, it hit me. I realized that I can’t be happy in a place I don’t belong. I can’t be happy with people I don’t belong with. I can’t be happy in situations I am not meant to be in.
Yes. I am meant for greatness. Not legendary greatness, but my own definition of greatness. To me, greatness is happiness, security, and freedom.
So, like I said, I can’t be happy in a place I don’t belong. I believe in signs. God tells us, in so many ways, that we don’t belong where we are. He tells us quietly at first. Drops little hints. The loss of a job. The frustration of daily, mundane travel. Then, after you take those signs as just things that happen in life, he takes something that meant the world from you. Things that hold you to a spot. After that goes, you can either do one of two things. You take that sign as a part of life and you stick around and change nothing and continue to live in misery or never reach your potential. If you do that, there is a possibility that the Man upstairs will continue to take until you hit rock bottom. Or, you can take that last sign as a way to figure out that this situation isn’t for you and figure out where you belong. I chose option two. I chose not to lose anymore. I chose to figure out where I belong.
Now that I know where my greatness can grow, I have begun to plant the seed that God gave me. I will take no setbacks. I will take no shortcuts. I have a timeline, but I know things can either go slower or faster. I’m destined for something better than what I’ve allowed myself.
So, am I looking for love? Nah, I think I will find it once I find my spot. I’ve been disappointed by that and I’m just not in the mood. Am I opened to friendship???? Sure, a girl can never have too many friends.