The banana / The flower
Well, let’s get the party started already.
I am sure all women are familiar with these analogies when it comes to virginity. Lucky for you if you are not. This would be an edge case though. It is everywhere around us. Shows like the Jane the virgin tell it all. Remember how her grandmother framed a flower in her bedroom to signify her virginity. How she would get the visuals of how the flower would crumble and look bad if many people kept touching it. So waiting till marriage was the way to protect the poor flower?

Remember how teachers would compare our vaginas to fruits in the market? “If people keep touching a banana over time it does not look appealing”, the teacher would feel entitled enough to say out loud in a class of young boys and girls. I don’t blame them. They were brought up in a society and reality that shames female sexuality. My problem with this, however, is the fact that they never even questioned the words coming out of their mouth. Does it even make sense to you? “So wait for marriage girls”, they would go on. Ps. It was never said to boys. Just girls. Making one think their genitalia is something to be ashamed of. That shame is an entity packaged within being a woman. I felt this myself. It has been a journey untangling myself from all the crap. All the weight brought by simply being a girl in favor of the patriarchy. Sit like a girl, don’t do this and that, because men will so and so. What message are you sending to men?
The whole idea puzzles me though. The notion that after marriage suddenly this delicate flower won’t crumble. It has now been entrusted to the penis of its life 🙄. Oh goody! That now you have a license to sex. And like every other thing, it comes with Terms and Conditions. It makes me wonder if the whole idea is to ensure women have one sexual partner throughout their life. Is that the whole idea? It beats logic if you dare to think about it long enough. How much different is it having multiple sex partners from having sex many times with a few/the one partner.
The sexism in this is almost equivalent to the analogy used to shame women with many sex partners. Ever heard of the master key and padlock analogy. That when a man has many partners they are a stud. It is a master key, a good key that works so efficiently. But, when a woman has many sex partners they are just loose. A bad padlock; that can be opened by anyone. Because it doesn’t take much effort to sleep with many men compared to the reverse. Someone played this number on me once. Isn’t it the same reason slut is used on every woman who expresses her sexuality whether through dressing, genuinely loving sex or actually having multiple sex partners but the same is not used for men? Because heaven forbid you to take charge of your sexuality. Instead of leaving the control to a man, which is allowed in the patriarchy system by the way.
Leave female genitalia alone. Mind you own. It is simply not your entity. Unrelated but funny. Vaginas are not delicate muscles. Instead of growing some balls, maybe grow a vagina.
“Why do people say, ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!” -Betty White.
Adios and remember to mind your own business! And as always, screw the patriarchy!
