Yep. This is August?!? Image courtesy: http://www.metoffice.gov.uk

The Yin & Yang of Autumn

If you live in the UK like I do then being obsessed with the weather is something you’ll appreciate. It’s also something to do with the British trait for disappointment. This summer, as many are, has been totally ‘meh’. We have totally been dealt a ‘nope!’ card.

So much so with only two weeks left before autumn kicks in proper summer has plain given up and sodded right off. From now until September the weather is looking more like winter than it has any right to. So. Goodbye beach barbecues. See you snorkel sessions. Au revoir tan.

Plus side autumn is awesome. So seeing as it’s here already ingest a pros and cons of my favourite season.

Things I dig about autumn:

  • Roast dinners.
  • Proper swell (crosses everything and wishes real hard as it’s flat as hell right now)
  • No crowds (hopefully).
  • Offshores.
  • Water’s still warm.
  • Parking restrictions end and car park prices drop.
  • Being allowed to take the mutt on the beach.
  • Nature’s free bounty collected and converted into chutney.
  • Sloe gin.
  • Bonfires.
  • Getting to play with high explosives.
  • Dressing up as zombies.
  • Mulled cider/wine.
  • Getting to surf the deep shelter spots again.
  • The pros showing us how France and Portugal are meant to be surfed when huge.
  • Not having to dodge tourists.
  • Riding short boards.
  • More roast dinners.
  • Conkers.
  • European surf trips.
  • Watching SUPs get smashed trying to paddle out.
  • Not wearing boots or gloves. Yet.
  • The zing of frosty mornings between your toes.
  • Bacon.
  • Coffee.
  • Lines to the horizon.
  • Beanies.
  • Farmer’s tan.
  • Being able to park.
  • Guinness (summer cider/rest of year black gold)
  • Overhead waves.
  • Getting snug in the back of a van.
  • Nature’s colour show as the leaves turn.
  • Few more roasts for good measure.

Things I don’t like about autumn:

  • Restricted hours of sunlight.
  • Endless rain.
  • Lack of bikinis.
  • Beer gardens are only for hardcore smokers.
  • No dawnies or lates.
  • Christmas schmaltz.
  • Clothes smelling of bonfire smoke.
  • Wetsuits not drying.
  • Ruining wetsuits by drying them by bonfires.
  • Floods.
  • Snow.
  • Frozen wetsuits. Don’t laugh. Can happen.
  • Endless flat surf.
  • Freezing tootsies and fingers as it really is glove/boots o’clock.
  • Finally admitting it’s time for the hooded suit.
  • Having to flush the lovely warm wee out.
  • Onshores.
  • Getting bad gravy with a roast.
  • Salad.
  • Admitting it’s not really cider and ice season anymore.
  • Farmer’s tan.
  • Not having enough bedding in van and so freezing.
  • Closed public toilets.
  • Cheap firework displays.
  • A big storm blowing all the golden leaves off in one go.

Enjoy it while you can. At this rate it’ll be winter by October…