Why Apple’s Christmas video is the antithesis of who we are as parents

In line with Christmas tradition, Apple has released a tear-jerking video that is doing the rounds. Marketers are hailing it as a successful commercial that pulls on the heartstrings, rather than one that showcases product features.

From my point of view as a dad of two girls, it is a disaster.

The video opens with a scene which shows two girls, possibly not older than nine and seven, constantly arguing and fighting as the parents load up their car. The all-so-familiar, “this is my seat” or little hitting each other continues as bags get stacked in the car and the family hits the road to the airport.

The dad’s response?
“Here, watch some movie or play a game.”

Kids instantly go quiet as they are handed an iPad. Parents heave a sigh of relief. We witness convenient disengagement.

Later in the video, as they climb the escalator after clearing long airport security lines, we hear one of the girls saying,

“I’m hungry.”
No response from the mom or dad.

Not only do the parents in the video not listen, but the dad is shown to talk right over his daughter. I have to admit we are guilty of sometimes not listening to our little ones when we’re in the middle of a conversation. But hunger at the airport is something we plan for. We try to pre-empt hunger.

In fact, we have refined our day-of-travel-with kids since we started travel schooling them earlier this year. Here’s how our airport experience pans out when travelling with our five and three-year-old daughters. Usually, after a successful check-in and dropping off bags, the girls are given an edible treat. Starting travels with treats is always a good idea ;) After clearing security, we usually hit a book store where they can spend as much time as they like browsing the kids’ section or flipping picture books. It’s common to find our little ones sprawling on the floor flipping through a fairytale.

In the video, as the family gets seated in the aircraft, the mom prompts the dad to take out the iPad and tells the girls,

“Daddy downloaded some movies for you.”
The parents are then shown to be sleeping through the flight.

Convenient disengagement, once again.

Upon landing, the family drives again. This time, one daughter is shown drawing on the iPad and the other is asleep. It’s dark.

As they enter their grandfather’s home, chaos ensues during dinner time. Even the grandfather seems to be losing his patience. Soon, the girls are taken to another room and the dad says what we now expect him to.

“Do you want me to put a movie on for you?”
“No, we got it.” reply the girls.

The Conversations?

By now, we have seen possibly a full day in the family’s life. The kids are shown to have watched three to four movies on the iPad in a day. For us, ironically, regulating screen time is one of the most discussed topics at gatherings with other parents. After all, research has shown that increased screen time alters our children's’ brains in an irreversible manner.

I’m left wondering when this family even talks to each other, let alone do anything together. In our experience, conversations are the only way of getting an insight into your child’s thinking.

That moment does come, but a little later in the video. At the end of the day, the mom is shown tucking in the girls to bed. Finally, we are shown the first real conversation of the day. The mom is truly listening as she answers her daughter’s question.

But that warm, mushy feeling is abruptly interrupted as we cut to the next morning. The opening scene? The mom is rushing out of the home while handing the iPad to the girls saying,

“Keep this and don’t annoy grandpa.”

For the rest of the day, the girls are shown to be rummaging through old photos and videos while also spending time on their iPad. By now, most of the viewers probably can guess where this film is heading.

The Interruptions

Once the mom returns in the evening, there barely seems to be a conversation she can complete with her dad without being interrupted by her daughters. To share some context, this is the story of our lives as young parents. Let alone with anyone else, my wife and I sometimes take a day to finish a single conversation thread with each other because our girls keep interrupting us. But we make the time and effort to answer their questions as much as possible.

It’s definitely more convenient to distract our kids with a device so that we adults can concentrate on our chores. But is the most convenient thing always the right thing to do?

In the Apple video, here’s the mom’s response to being interrupted:

“Girls, c’mon, let’s go down and watch something.”
They duly get handed the iPad as the mom walks away, yet again.

In another scene that follows, the girls hide under a blanket while drawing on their iPad late at night. They are definitely creating something. The dad walks in to set things right.

“If you wake us up before 6 ‘o clock, I’m opening up all the presents”

Once again, the film doesn’t show the dad engage with the girls. He is just stating his priorities (which is to sleep peacefully), without even asking what the girls are up to.

Finally, on the morning of Christmas, the girls wrap the iPad and gift it to Grandpa. They obviously want to show their creation. The mom’s response?

“Ha.. Ha.. Girls!”
She scorns as she assumes they are gifting their old iPad to Grandpa.

Upon realizing that the girls have created something nice on the iPad for Grandpa, the mom tries to course correct,

“Oh…(smiles)…when did you do this?”

Duh! In the little time they had their iPad!

This year’s Apple Christmas video sets a disturbing tone throughout the film. Parents are shown to be busy to engage with the kids. Kids are shown to be consumed in their iPad almost every waking hour. There is a general nonchalance about screen time. Convenient disengagement is the undertone that overshadows any emotions the film tries to bring out by the end.

The gross misrepresentation of dads

If you watch the video carefully, another aspect becomes hard to ignore — the depiction of the father.

He is not shown to be a good listener, as he speaks over his daughters. He stands awkwardly in the background as the family greets grandpa upon arrival. We get through the whole video without seeing the father engage in any meaningful conversation with his daughters. I’m sure the scriptwriters left out a few moments of the day in the video, but no conversation occurs in the video between the dad and the daughters.

Being a dad to two girls myself, I have a lot of other friends who are young dads. Let’s get one thing straight.

Most dads today are of a different variety than depicted in the Apple video. We’re possibly the most involved generation of dads till date!

We are very involved in raising our kids. I know dads who share pick up and drop off duties with moms. I used to walk my daughter to school every morning (until we pulled her out of school for our sabbatical). I know dads who regularly work from home to be with their kids. I know dads who split paternity leave to spend months with their young kids. I personally know dads carry a ton of books and activities when flying with kids to keep them engaged. Dads today read their kids to sleep. Oh, and dads do care about their kids’ hunger!

Perhaps the dads on Apple’s marketing team are overworked or there weren’t too many dads on the team, to begin with. The result is a depiction that is a gross misrepresentation of dads.

Companies like Apple are in a powerful position to shape popular culture in our society. Its marketing teams and agencies need to rise beyond creating a mushy video to get clicks. Shouldn’t they introspect what culture is Apple trying to promote or depict? Their Christmas video may depict a reality Apple aspires to, but not something most parents today resign to.