Impostor Syndrome Anyone?

The first time I heard this term was from my therapist (we all have one, right?) At the time, I’d been expressing some feelings of anxiety about my job at the time. I felt incompetent and that my boss was going to figure out sooner or later that I didn’t belong there and definitely should not be getting paid to do what I did.

If you’re unfamiliar with Impostor Syndrome (sometimes also call Fraud Complex), it’s basically the inability to internalize your success. Meaning, you have achieved some level of greatness (fabulous job, amazing award, high status, etc.) but don’t think it truly has anything to do with your ability.

Instead of crediting yourself and your ability, you write it off as one or several of the following reasons:

• lucky (timing, situation, people you know)
• total fluke
• they just like your personality
• you’re easy to get along with
• you’ve duped them, and they’ll find out soon enough who you really are
• someone else really did the work, and you just helped a bit
• you’re charming
• you were in the right place at the right time

It’s a crummy feeling, and if you have it, you know what I’m talking about.

When I got into my college of choice, I completely credited my admission to one lucky night. The Dean of Admissions happened to come into the pizza parlor where I worked. (Go Woodstock’s!) My boyfriend at the time recognized the Dean and strongly urged (read- made) me to deliver the pizza to his table and make conversation. I did, and in my mind, charmed my way to the top of his attention. He even said, “Drop me another line. I’ll look for your letter”.

To me, these experiences sprinkled throughout my life, solidified my belief that my success, and for this time, it meant getting into this esteemed college, had zero to do with my ability as a student and everything to do with lucky timing and my charm.

What to do if you suffer from Impostor Syndrome?

• First of all, know you are not alone! There are staggering statistics about this. Over 70% of the population has feelings of fraud complex. It’s more common for females, but men feel it too. Meryl frickin’ Streep suffers from this!
• See the good in it. Whaaaaat? Studies have shown people who suffer from this are high functioning and high achieving.
• Recognize the moments. As soon as you start having those oh-so-familiar feelings of fraud-ness, see them for what they are and accept them. Not as truth but as part of how you feel. This belief goes deep and I’m not suggesting a simple “hello” to your feelings will make them go away. That’s actually not the point. Don’t squash the feelings down but don’t swim in them either. Recognize, acknowledge, even accept that you’re feeling them and then gently let that feeling know it’s not in charge.
• TAP on that sh*t! This is the limiting belief I referred to in my post about Tapping/EFT. (If you’re unfamiliar, click on the link for a short explanation and story.

My “I think I’m cured!” tapping session was over a year and a half ago, and my relationship with my feelings of being an impostor has completely changed. That’s really the goal. I still have the feelings, but now they don’t take over me, they don’t rule me, they are a part of me, but, they are a minuscule part. I’m not actually cured. I’m better. I’ve changed my relationship with these beliefs, and I’m in charge, they are along for my ride.