Mommy Dating (or, looking for Mommy friends)
There seems to be an underworld of play dates and Mommy friends that I’ve never quite experienced first hand. Holden is 4 ½ and I have yet to spark enough of a conversation with a fellow Mom at the park for either of us to exchange phones numbers and make future plans for our children (and us) to hang out.
It’s not that I want or need more friends. I’m more social than I think my husband bargained for and a lot of my “already” friends are actually Moms.
I’m talking about that spark you feel with someone you don’t know, a fellow Mom at gym class or preschool or, hell, anywhere. The gleam in their eye you connect with that makes you want to spend more time together, have a “play date”, and connect more while your children squeal in delight together.
It’s like dating.
You’re kind of interested in that one British Mom (not just for her accent), she’s cool and doesn’t seem to pander to her kid’s whining, also she seems athletic and you aspire for fitness. You put the “vibe” out to her. No bite. No nothing.
Fine. Maybe go for the Mom of the kid your kid actually likes. Holden loved this one girl at his first preschool. The teachers commented all the time that they were inseparable and how sweet it was (and it was). I make a similar comment to the Mom, nothing. I strike up a different conversation with her Mom, nada. I straight out suggest we get the kids together since they have so much fun at school, the blow off.
Sigh. She’s just not that into me. Move on.
I’ve thought about it off and on over the last couple of years but mostly let it go. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen. I won’t say I’ve forgotten about it but I’ve definitely stopped eyeing Moms in the same “are you the Mom we’re about to befriend?” kind of way.
And then it happened. Holden and I were innocently hanging out at our friend Kelly’s pool in her apartment complex today (thank you Kelly, we had so much fun!) and there was a sweet little girl Holden’s age and his Mommy there. The little girl was as equally outgoing as Holden is and they hit it off instantaneously. Mom and I start talking. She seems cool. The day goes on, more playing, more casual conversation here and there and when we leave, I suggest we exchange phone numbers and maybe meet up again.
(She said yes!)
We exchange phone numbers and she texts me right after we left, how lovely it was to meet and talking about a future play date. And I realize, without trying, I’ve arrived.
