Camping Happy

Hey,

Alright so in continuing the trend of informal writing and just writing me, I’m going to write what’s been on my mind

Also, I haven’t done anything today. Had singing in the morning and then spent the rest of the day playing call of duty alone and watching youtube videos (Adele rapping, honestly, is one of the best things I’ve ever seen).

Okey Dokey, so recently I’ve felt change. It’s not like the biggest change I’ve ever experienced but I guess I am finally beginning to realise that things do change.

I started A levels last September, which now doesn’t seem like such a long a time ago but when I think of what I’ve done up till now, it’s been a long time. Anyways, it’s been difficult. and I think that kind of took me by shock. Mocks caught me off guard because I felt like I revised/ understood the material, but it just didn’t turn out the way I hoped. and damn. damn damn damn. But a lot of it was just silly mistakes. I was definitely overwhelmed a week ago, but I’m cool with it now.

So yea. studies is number one.

I think socially wise also, I do feel like I’m growing up, and other people are growing up. I’ve probably been in denial of that for a long time and never really wanted this time to come. It’s been manageable in the past but damn, now I think I have to face it. Personally, not much of a guy for people above 18 and younger that 25 things. I know I’m still young but I do kinda have a strong feeling against it. I guess just doing things I did as a child do really give me that sense of comfort and identity.

I mean people have definitely told me, just wait until you get older and you’ll see yourself change. I mean it’s not like I’m against everything. All up for casual drinking (one or two glasses of wine) but if I gotta go out to a night club or something. Honestly, I’d feel super uncomfortable. To lose control of myself for a period of time, having to stay up late and mess up my sleeping cycle, and just have bizarre pictures of me on social media feels… way too much for me.

And I think I’m quite a, I can’t think of the word. Sorry i’m tired. quite a “i don’t really want many people to know alot about me” kind of person.

Huh, that kind of contradicts my irrational dream of being known.

So yea, Social things are numero deux.

But isn’t that part of life tho? to just move forward and move on and just treasure life as ya go and just be able to appreciate moments and embrace change because it’ll happen no matter what. and that is well, kinda just life. that’s the whole process of everything and anything.

Huh.

Hope that was somewhat of an epiphany.

Also, life’s short man, people just die outta nowhere. and that fking sucks. don’t know how to feel about that. of course sad and apprehensive but I just don’t want that shit. (Add the F word followed by a heaving sigh and y’all know how I feel.)

that’s probably nombero three.