Misdiagnonsense.
Growing up, I have been diagnosed with nearly every ailment under the sun.
Asthma, hernia, irritable bowel syndrome, bronchiectasis, Primary ciliary dyskenisia, pulmonary fibrosis, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and depression.
Whether pacing the halls of a public hospital, or the stifling confines of a GP, I have literally had it all. I’ve been delivered this terrible news in many different ways. I’ve had the grim Sally Field approach “Look there’s no easy way to say this..” conversation that usually involves a furrowed brow and a tissue box not so inconspicuously sliding in my direction. I have had the Robin William’s Patch Adams approach “Well now we know what it ISN’T am I right?” Cued laughter and terrible Dad jokes in between. There were even times I’ve had a diagnoses in a lab report in the post, courtesy of John the Mailman who is wondering why I’m not working today.
If you’re unsure of the definition of some of those diseases I mentioned earlier, do look them up. All have some similarities with the final diagnoses, the one medical professionals have finally gotten right (So far)-Cystic Fibrosis. The depression and anxiety were kind of interconnected to the final result, so I guess they didn’t get it too wrong.
But it lead me thinking that we misdiagnose ourselves constantly. We diagnose ourselves as fat and that we need to go on a diet, when there is zero evidence to prove that we need one. We diagnose ourselves as boring or having nothing to offer, surmising this irrational definition whilst with a group of friends who all drove an hour and a half to come and see you for lunch. We diagnose ourselves as unworthy of somebody else’s time when we didn’t get invited to the party. We diagnose ourselves as a total fraud waiting for somebody to tap us on the shoulder and say that we don’t have the depth or the intellect for the position we applied for. Are you noticing a trend here? My medical minefield journey was chaotic and unpredictable, sometimes hilarious but often traumatising. It was during this journey that it got me to thinking that I’ve been falling into the trap of misdiagnoses for years, with the result just as detrimental and ridiculous. It got me thinking that if I have been getting into these horrible habits for such a long period of time, then surely others have too.
So I have decided to jot down all of the misdiagnonsense I have encountered over the years, and what I did that helped me diagnose what the real thing in front of me is. What I have done may not work for everybody, and I’m certainly not an expert when it comes to mental health, but if I can assist with some of these fictions we treat as cold hard facts, then I’m doing something right. I also know that being a 31 year old and writing something that will definitely be deemed as ‘self help’ (Another misdiagnonsense!) makes me come across as somewhat entitled and Gen Y-ish of me, where no doubt the only worry people in my generation have is when next to have my smashed avo fix. But this is just a snapshot of someone that has gone through some stuff, and offering that to somebody else who might be going through some of their own.
I will be interspersing these pieces of advice with memories and stories that will hopefully delight you and make you feel some things. Even if you get angry, that’s okay. It’s better than feeling nothing at all right?
I’ve set out and made this book where if you don’t want to read for a week and prefer to watch Netflix in bed instead (I actually encourage you to do this) You don’t have to waste time trying to steal a bookmark out of your Grandmother’s unused Jojo Moyle’s book that is gathering dust on the bedside table to try and find where you were up to last. This wont have chapters, so you can literally flick to a page that takes your fancy and put it down whenever you want.
Having a chronic physical illness (That is certifiably true and accurate by the way. I’m not Belle Gibson-ing you) I’ve had to be creative and work within the space and the limitations I have when it comes to being attacked by these perpetual myths we create in our lives, sometimes not even realising that we are doing it. So most of what I do to counteract these things you will be able to do mostly within the confines of your own home/apartment/granny flat/hovel.
Anyway, make yourself a cup of tea/coffee, or actually even better if there’s any wine in the house you should definitely pour yourself a great big fat glass of that, find somewhere comfortable that has enough light for you, (not too much, bright lights kill every vibe known to man) And lets get started!
