Thoughts for the new artist #2 : Do this one gig and you’re our guy for all future work

Dear New Artist,

My previous piece was positively received and went viral among all the friends I spammed. Issues like these don’t often get addressed in workshops, so I’m going to continue writing these for my students and fellow artists. Do share.

Before you read this however, you should read my earlier piece, available on three platforms.

Medium, if you fancy yourself an intellectual: https://medium.com/@shaunwilliams/dear-young-artist-67b0c50ab0fb

My Facebook professional page if you are or would like to be my fan : https://www.facebook.com/notes/shaun-williams/work-for-free/10157500014406201/

LinkedIn if, according to obnoxious artists, you’re a slave to the corporate world :

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/work-free-shaun-williams/

As before, I’m going to conflate situations related to events or shoots. Think about how these thoughts apply to your profession in particular.

Be aware of your breath… 1–2–3. Here we go.

Now you, (Sweety), have been calling Ronodeep for photos of the event you did for free. He’s not taking any of your calls because he’s on a Bullet ride with his bros in Ladakh. You, on the other hand, are on your way to Andheri, in a rickshaw, for that Surf Excel TV ad audition. #lol #actorlife. However, Ronodeep has assigned his underling Debasish to you for a gig. YAY!Debasish is the typical underling who knows nothing, doesn’t make decisions and his go to strategy for anything is to “check with sir if it’s possible”.But this is not about Debasish’s pointless existence.

Now, while you have been waiting in anticipation for Jacqueline Fernadez to tweet your pic from that event, Debasish has been instructed to offer you another gig and this time you’re going to get paid! YAY! However, the fee being offered is crappy enough to make you want to write articles and put it on the interwebs. Ronodeep knows that you didn’t get any publicity from the previous gig, so he won’t play that card anymore. Ronodeep and his entire team got that selfie with Devendra Fadnavis but you were backstage eating that awful veg sandwich they ordered.

Cut to: Phone call with Debashish

Debu: Hi Sweety, how are you? Sir said I should talk to you about our next event. You were very good and we want you for the next one and the payment is (Insert vomit). Sweety (Feeling assertive, after having read my earlier post): Bhai, that’s too low. I did your last event for free. I feel you should pay me at least (Insert your trip to Karjat). Debu: Sorry ya, I’ll check with sir if that’s possible, but most probably that’s our budget only. But we will call YOU only henceforth for ALL our events. See? Sir told me to call you only no? We have so many events coming up. Also there is our awards function, we might use you.

Be aware of your breath… 1–2–3….Go.

Now let’s examine Debu’s promise.

In the past, film companies have said something similar to me.

Cut to : Flashback

Sweet Asst. Director : Shaun,once sir likes you, he will work with you always. Shaun (less needy, rolls eyes, pretends to be interested) : That’s nice. Cut to: Present

Here’s the thing, what he is saying may actually be true! In fact it is true. I’m very likeable, cute, talented and professional. But let’s pause, and as always, think and question the man.

Questions I would have for Debu

As an actor trainer.

1. How many TV ads, that need child actor training, do you foresee in the next three months? (The way the industry works, there is next to zero chance of predicting when or how many kid commercials will come up. Yes, there are seasons, but most likely, their next ten ads could be for food ordering apps, depicting lazy and unsociable adults, somehow bringing about world peace by ordering food) #advertising

2. Oh! You specialise in TV ads featuring children? Nice. What happens when your cast is actually talented and needs no training?

3. Oh! You specialise in TV ads featuring children? Nice. But sometimes you just need cute kids with no acting talent, because all they have to do is run to a door and scream “Mummy!”. What happens then?

(FYI, I train adults as well. #jussayin)

As an actor

1. I’m forty years old, can swim, sing and pretty hunky. How many of your upcoming scripts feature a similar character?

You get the point. Let’s pause for…

Homework and points of reflection for Sweety

Use your head. Research.

• Turn on the TV and watch the commercials. How many types of scripts are there? How many types of characters? THINK!
• What kind of events are out there? Conferences, mall promotions, sangeets or Mrs. Shah’s daughter’s seventh birthday party in Cuffe Parade?

Now ask yourself, where do you, as of now, fit?

• Do you have the abs to do a shirtless shower scene for Jaquar’s premium bathroom fittings?
• Do you look “upmarket” enough to play Vikrant, the sauve CEO car owner, or are you more like Vijay, your “middle class”, kurta clad neighbour, drying clothes on a terrace in a semi woke detergent ad?#advertising
• Are you Sanjana, the attractive suit wearing empowered woman CEO shutting down men in the boardroom, or are you Mala, the gorgeous sari clad, empowered housewife who knows what health drink to buy for your family. #nevermind

For a long time I fit the “young husband” or “young corporate” character. When I had long hair it was rock musician, DJ, drug addict or geek characters.

Think girl,think!

You don’t fit in all categories and there is no guarantee that the production house will produce an ad that needs your look.Yes, your “look”. I’m not talking talent here. Nawazuddin is not ever going to be the lead in a superhero film.I mean…I would cast him, because I’m cool and think differently and will take that risk with the crores you will give me to make that film, but it’s not about me now.

Now consider events

• Sometimes Debu’s client will insist on having a (pretty) female emcee. So if you’re a guy, you’ve lost a few gigs already.
• Sometimes they want a celeb emcee. (I’m sorry, but that one TV ad you did last year with Madhuri Dixit, doesn’t make you a celeb. Amit Malviya’s follower’s followers are more influential than you) #alliteration
• Maybe it’s Lakme Fashion Week and you have spent the last six months, sitting on your behind Netflixing…alone! #oohburn (Btw, have you heard of the seven minute workout?? Link below. Great way to start if you’re not the gymming type)
• Maybe you thought talent is all that matters, but if the client needs you to wear a good jacket and all you have is that one good lehnga that you wear for sangeets, then you might as well go back to Netflixing…alone. #oohdoubleburn
• Maybe that stupid ass hipster beard, or that side shaved anti patriachy hairdo will work for a Red Bull event, but not for Cyrus Mistry’s farewall party.

Be aware of your breath… 1–2–3….Go.

It follows that, by year end, you will not have earned as much as Debu seems to be indicating. You can safely postpone going back to Delhi for Diwali. What now? You might as well charge your full fee right? Maybe… maybe not! You cannot predict or control the future. Sometimes even a Chief Minister will change overnight while you were Netflixing alone… #HahahaGotchaAgain

In short, try to find out what kind of work the industry puts out and what its needs are. The industry’s needs boy…not your needs.

The world and mediocrity

We are in a world of a lot of mediocrity. Be it movies, art or even plays. Not everyone cares, and that’s because even the audience/client may be used to the mediocrity being dished out.

It therefore follows that, when they find a cheaper “Sweety” who will do a basic/satisfactory job, Debu and Ronodeep will dump your ass silently like that girl who ghosted you on Tinder. They will even go for a less talented celebrity from any recent popular web series. The difference is, the celeb will be paid his or her fee. Tough Titties.

Listen, how much talent does it take to say, “I request Mr. Elon Musk to come up on stage,to light the diya”? Not much right?… Actually, it does take some talent, but voice projection, clarity, finesse etc is something that clients or Debu don’t really care about. #notallclients

WAIT!

Having said that, the impression you make does matter. If you are able to impress a client with your rendition of that awful emcee script they give you, then Ronodeep’s client may just about insist on having you for the next event.In case you’re interested, I’ve listed out three teachers for voice workshops… links below.

Now that you’re more aware, you can call out Debu’s BS.

Tring tring Sweety : Bhai can you guarantee the number of events for me to host?

Debu : Oh we can’t guarantee.But let me check with sir and get back.

Sweety : Bhai, can you at least sign a contract for a minimum of ten events at this fee?

Debu : Hmm we don’t make contracts,but let me check with sir and get back.

Sweety : Bhai, how do I know you will call me for your events?

Debu : Arre sir, you do this one and i’ll talk to sir about it.What say?

Sweety : Bhai, what is the point of your existence?

Be aware of your breath… 1–2–3….Go.

Let’s say you did the event. (Insert ‘passage of time’ montage and music from ‘Interstellar’) You feel like a fool. You feel used. You whine tenderly in the arms of your soon to be ex, who indulges your sorry ass self pitying for now. A few months down the line, between episode seven and eight of the latest dark Netflix series, you check Facebook and you see Ronodeep (and Debu with his spindly legs), wearing weird sunglasses and strange headgear at Sunburn, posing with hot hipster “sapiosexuals”. You’re thinking, that could have been you. You also notice that they did an event without you…with some other “Sweety”…who probably did it for free! You feel hurt and betrayed. #f**kmen (Cue scratch disk sound, cut to present)

Oh! You thought Debasish would abide by his word? Heck, even my man Obama couldn’t solve systemic issues in the finance world or reduce drone attacks. Wake up and smell the sewage.(On a related note, do watch the recession documentary ‘Inside Job’)

Villians!

As usual, let’s dial the hate down. #notallwhatever. There are clearly some horrible humans out there, but as I briefly mentioned in my previous post, not everyone is really evil.

To be fair, it’s not always Debu’s or even Ronodeep’s word. It could be the client’s word.(I was once asked by my boss to back out of a deal with a promotional partner. It was awful,awful,awful!)

Debu, and sometimes even Ronodeep don’t matter, especially when they have terrible “key clients” who micromanage, or worse still, clients who squeeze budgets just for the sake of squeezing budgets. #ManagementWisdom #notallkeyclients

Inhuman practices and attitudes start at the top, (or mid way), and filter down. Sometimes you can’t help it. Anand Mahindra, the wokest chairperson on social media probably doesn’t know what a douche his junior manager might be. But that’s another conversation. (Disclaimer : No employee of Mahindra & Mahindra has been a douche to me. This is just an illustration.)

Where from?

While your Tinder matches are tired of this question, it may just help with Debu. It helps to pause the negotiation and just, have a conversation. You will see a different side of him and the way his company works. You will feel less angry simply because you get to see the human behind the exploitative dumb douche. Don’t do this with any angle in mind. Just have a GENUINE conversation. It helps in ways that I may discuss later.This however does not mean you two are an exclusive couple. Don’t live with expectations of special favours and also don’t let yourself be taken advantage of.

By the way, Ronodeep is back from Ladakh but immediately left for Thailand for that Microsoft team building event which, Shivangi the cute emcee will be hosting…. What’s good on Netflix?

Contract?

Did you sign a contract?…No contract?…He doesn’t have to do crap all for you.

Oh! You did sign a contract? Yay! I suggest tough, you look at www.askhowindia.org ‘s presentation on our justice system before you call your lawyer (Psst!I’m in the video version, link below)

Decline the gig?

Would they go to another guy? Most likely yes! Boy,even Hrithik Roshan has competition. Will he call you again? Maybe , maybe not…There will however, be other assignments and other Debus. The question is, can you afford to take that risk at this point in your life? Maybe give Debu three to six months to see if you’re getting anything from this relationship?

Money!

In the previous post, I’ve already briefly written about having principles. Now let’s talk money. Take a look at the fee Debu proposed.

• How much of your monthly rickshaw fare does it cover?
• Have you broken any of your fixed deposits?
• Do you need to buy a nice dress for your next audition?
• Do you need to buy a gift for that broke ass weed smoking boyfriend of yours? Pause and think. Be aware of your breath… 1–2–3. Go.

Now once in a while on social media, you will come across a revolutionary boasting about having turned down an assignment due to inadequate remuneration. The guy will get 67 likes, (maybe 700 if he is a mini celeb), followed by comments like “more power to you” etc etc. Before you get inspired, consider that maybe, just maybe, that brave faker has other sources of income or has saved up a lot of money. Maybe she is already a well established professional or maybe he has a spouse who is supporting him financially. Watch out for these “brave” people. On social media, things like context, backstory or nuance is virtually absent. Noone is honest…Everybody Lies .. (If you get that reference,put a hint in the comments and I’ll give you a hug emoji.) Still, as I have said before, don’t be rigid about principles. It’s the same as being religious and not spiritual. Use your brain. Be sensible and deal with each situation differently.

Go Zen in negotiations(Almost done here)

Firstly, if you are an entitled hothead, please breathe during every negotiation. (The point of your Vipassana or mindfulness retreat to Sri Lanka, is to put it to use in everyday life!)Next, don’t end a conversation with finality by using statements like these

• Please call me when you have better budgets. I don’t work for anything below (insert fee).
• That’s so exploitative dude, please don’t call me. F**k you and capitalism!

Okay so you scored a mental and personal victory. Good for you, but ask yourself…What have you gained? For yourself, for society at large? What have you lost? By avoiding the above, you (or they) can still reach out without feeling awkward. #awkward

Something to think about

One year I totalled the income I made from emceeing events and from voice overs. I was paid relatively well for events and in comparison, much much less for each voice over gig. I had however, double the number of voice over gigs as opposed to events, so by the end of the year, my voice over income was almost equal to my big budget emcee income! The low budget voice over gigs took more effort,but formed a significant part of my income. Most of that work came from one studio. They never promised me anything but as it turned out, 90 percent of my voice over work came from them. If I had declined them once then I would have been saying no to lot of money in a year that I really needed it.If you are my student then I would have already told you about Sound and Vision studio which at the time was run by someone I dearly miss and respect, the late Leela Ghosh.

Lifehack (We’re done)

There is no “life hack” for when you’re starting out. I’m writing these for you to reflect on and not follow blindly. I also definitely do not want you to lose or refuse work unnecessarily.

I almost lost work once because a professional, ten years ahead of me in the field, told me what to charge. Her fee… not what was appropriate for a newbie. Thanks to that I worry about how I advise young artists.

One of my teachers, Mr.Martin Oorali, said, after a six day workshop,“Don’t believe anything I say” So…reflect on my thoughts, question my thoughts, discuss my thoughts.

That’s it for now. I hope this and my earlier piece helps you in your journey. Do me a favour, share it or express your views below. Shaun Sir, out!

Voice coaches

*Asif Ali Beg : www.asifalibeg.com

*Hetal Varia : hvvoicecoach@gmail.com

*Graham D’Souza : http://gramovox.in/

Seven Minute workout_________________________________________ https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/09/the-scientific-7-minute-workout/

How can every Indian have faster justice____________________________ https://www.askhowindia.org/how-can-every-indian-have-faster-justice-2/

About the writer What?!You don’t know who I am? I was in that ‘Men will be Men lift ad’ and…nevermind. I’m a drama teacher and acting coach with more than a few years of experience acting and teaching.

• Website : www.thecellardoor.in (In the process of redesigning it so don’t hate it)
• Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/shaunwilliamsactor
• IG : Shaunjee (No I won’t follow you just because you follow me)

The pictures are from the last big event I emceed. Toon Cricket. So epic.It’s another thing that I didn’t get paid for six months, but it was like the Oscars for me.Shouted out to an audience of approximately 20,000 guests in Andheri sports complex. I rule.

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