Being a Glorified ‘Mean Girl’ in Your 30s Reveals Your Immaturity

Photo credit:

I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile but feel it apropos to discuss now. I believe, or maybe it’s an assumption (which I hate to do) that once you’ve reached your 30s there are certain things done in our 20s that get filed in the “been there, done that, too old for it” folder. We all have them — in surplus. I do. However, I’m an observant person and noticed certain things with women in my age group are out of sync.

The first instance was 3 years ago when my manager, also in her 30s, attempted use me as a scapegoat. Her goal: get me snitch on my coworker, who happened to be my best friend. But, I had to reach back and show her my “I don’t do phony” file which left her with a bit of distaste. Her “mean girl” syndrome — which I’m highly allergic to — reared its ugly head and my reaction to it wasn’t what she expected. In my reflections, it made me wonder how many other women in their 30s are still living through the high school persona that they should have outgrown. But then again, who am I to determine a person’s growth pattern.

I notice it among women in my circle, the ones whom I’ve befriended for years. It’s one thing to know one of your “sistars” is a mean girl and observe from the sidelines while they work, but to experience it firsthand, on multiple occasions, begs the question: “are you really THAT immature, or is this just for likes?”

These days, likes are currency and subs allow people to indirectly address the elephant in the room that gets ignored, while carefully organizing photos to showcase “successes” on social media, crafted to invoke the emotion of “exclusion.” I’m sure you’re thinking, there’s no way someone could have that much time on their hands, but unfortunately, I have to be bearer of disappointment. There are women, even in your circle, who have an affection with being a mean girl.

Here’s the thing with wearing that glorified badge of honor in your 30s — that shit is whack as hell. Many may believe the “mean girl” syndrome is a natural disposition; however, actually takes quite a bit of work. Think about it. The energy gathered to direct it towards said target, creating a group dynamic around that energy, forming allies, manipulating people for personal gain, building a “victim platform” and utilizing tools to disperse that energy into the Universe. Hell, that was a lot to write so imagine women in and around your life doing this shit every, single, day. Who has time for that?

The mean girl syndrome is one of the biggest forms of insecurity. It shows that this person doesn’t have the balls to confront whatever issue THEY have with the person who they’re being mean to, and it also shows there is something about the receiver that they don’t like which is a reflection of them; OR they’re just mad this person refuses to kiss their ass. Which leads me back to my question of maturity.

I mean, c’mon. We’re in our THIRTIES! There is so much life to be had, so many things available to accomplish now that we’re REAL adults (no offense to the 20-year olds). But honestly, there’s authentic grown up shit that happens in the third decade of our lives, and what with all the ebb and flow that takes place, the time and dedication put into being a mean girl is time wasted. And quite frankly, time is the real currency here.

No woman wants to acknowledge that they’re out here still living the high school life and proud, but that’s really what it is. Right now, somewhere around the globe, there are women sitting at bars, sipping tea, in chat groups, having “girl’s night” conversing about being intentionally mean, petty and rude to another woman over something that could be resolved with a phone call. And there are women, in the same bars, sipping the same tea, in the same chat groups, at the same girl’s night allowing this shit to happen.

Yep, I blame you too.

Wearing the mean girl crown isn’t cute. It’s quite unbecoming and obnoxious. It gives the aura an odious stench, diminishes the natural beauty, changes the facial features, sucks the life out of beautiful skin, wrinkles the forehead, triggers the horns in the back of the head to grow, and a pool of muck to lay under the feet. No one notices the light of the mean girl start to dim because they hide it so well. Claiming to be perfectly imperfect, while they continue to manifest the spirit of nasty earmarked for a woman unbeknown.

And yes, many of you laugh with said friendgirl and dismiss her antics as playful and not that serious. Encouraging the immaturity, instead of checking it at the door. But then again, I’ll give you a little more credit than that. Maybe you do check this chick and it falls on deaf ears. Ultimately, no matter what’s said to a mean girl in her 30s, she’s so far gone into the role that the smell of smoke from the flame she lit to the bridge that’s about to burn, doesn’t even faze her. Or maybe, I’m still wrong. Perhaps, she never really gave a shit about the friendship in the first place and she’s really just showing you, and me, who she really is.

How’s that for a Kodak moment?

Here’s a message to all the adult mean girls of the world: babygirl, you’re in your 30s. Kill the mean girl persona already, act like you have a vag that’s built tough and address your problems like an adult, instead of being an asshole with no purpose.

Your crown is dull. Polish it.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.