Dear Women, do we treat our money like our relationships?
En route home from the doctor’s office today, I asked myself this question — do I treat money the way I treat the men I date? Strange question to ask myself but it somehow made sense to me. What prompted this thought was all the tests and stuff I need to take since my fibroids have reappeared. In true Vee fashion, I began to mildly stress over how all of this was going to take place. Within those thoughts, my ex-boyfriend came across my mind — not because I miss him, but more so in relation to how he entered into my life. Then I thought about how all the men I’ve dated, or dealt with, entered my life and wondered have I been such a “Negative Nancy” about relationships that I’ve pigeonholed myself into constantly attracting the a-holes?
The saying holds true, you are what you attract, so what if you and I have been subconsciously putting out into the Universe self-loathing vibes that allow money to fly out of our hands, and men to play on those self-loathing insecurities we thought were a secret? What if, despite us saying aloud that we want to live in abundance and experience unconditional love — that the one time we doubted ourselves in obtaining these wants, these needs, these desires, we shifted the Universe from being in our favor? Can you imagine all the financial debt and heartache that has happened, is partially on you (and me) because we chose to be inconsistent?
Think about it?
How often have you been in a sucky relationship, and you knew it was a sucky relationship but you stuck with it because you didn’t want to prove to yourself (and secretly your friends) that you weren’t unable to function in a real relationship, or be with a decent guy, or be incapable of not finding something wrong with said guy? I’ve been there. Now recap that time (or maybe now) that you applied to your dream job, with your dream salary and consistently had the door slammed in your face. You continued to work a dead job, with your skimpy ass paycheck, bills piling sky high and bank account starving, lacking the confidence to transition into the career you’ve been telling the Universe you want because ten other hiring managers just didn’t response, or told you no. Yep. Take all that. It sucks.
I’m going through it now.
Are you connecting the dots like I am?
In Jen Sincero’s “You Are a Badass” she has a chapter titled — Money, Your New Best Friend, where she talks about how money is not your enemy, it’s a tool that requires responsibility. In the book she says, “there’s plenty of money to go around; you not letting yourself make it doesn’t save more for other people, just as you making it doesn’t take it away from them”. You get it? Hanging on to the CEO of the asshole club doesn’t keep his lovely self from other women, just as you attempting to block yourself from receiving real love doesn’t save you from not experiencing it. Despite what it seems, there are plenty of men out there just as much as it is money. You not applying for that job just cuts you out of the pot because there’s plenty to be had, and someone who is straight outta effs, is just going to fill your spot.
Still with me?
It is important that we remain responsible of how we handle money, opportunities, and ourselves in relationships. Ever thought about how our carelessness or fear with money is similar to our carelessness and fear in relationships? Those instances when you’ve stuck to your financial goals and held yourself accountable, you saw the return on your financial investment; just as much as when you allowed yourself to love freely with no regrets and equal compromise, those were some of the best relationships you had. You even wonder what happened because it was all so beautiful.
This is where we have to return.
I’m not going to give a gratitude speech, because we all know we have to remain grateful and that maintaining gratitude directly affects the positive we incur in our lives. What I will leave you with is this: the more we begin to understand the relationship between our actions with the things we want, need and desire, the easier it will become to remain consistent with our thoughts and our actions.
How’s that for gratitude?