Why Closure is Bullsh*t
It’s this stamp approval that women seem to need. A falsehood if you will. I’ve been a victim of its fallacies as well, believing it was necessary for me to move on into the next chapter in my life.
Closure is this preconceived notion that a “score” needs to be settled with your past, or saying what you have to say is necessary to a person you’ve ended a relationship with. Truth is, when that person walked out of your life (or when you were brave enough to leave), that was your closure. Your feelings are what they are; however, the door to your space of vulnerability and trust is sealed.
When you seek this false notion of closure, you reopen a door that was just closed, only to turn back around and POSSIBLY close it again. Oftentimes when people seek closure, it allows the person who treated you like a dirty dog the permission to do it again.
On day 4 of the New Year, I almost allowed a door that was closed in 2015 to reopen. I caught myself and in a recent post on my Instagram page, gave a real outlook on what closure means.
Closure is not some way to “mend” your hurt feelings, it’s a way for you to justify why the person who wronged you is still part of your conversation — a lie that makes you too cowardice to get over it and move on. Closure is the door you keep unlocked, hoping to have just one last talk with the asshole that left you face down in a pool of tears and snotty ass tissue. Closure is believing that if you can just get out our feelings, you don’t have to hide in the shadows every time you see that wretched person. Closure is salt on the wound.
Why would you want to put salt your wounds?
In 2016 get over this belief that you need closure. You don’t need it because you already have it. What you need is to let go of the fact you still have something to say (there are journals for that), accept that you’ve been hurt or dished out the hurt, learn from the situation and use this opportunity as a means to grow stronger. Don’t offer yourself up for a “life date,” or any date for that matter, just to catch up. What’s the purpose of catching up with someone who gave your their ass to kiss? Don’t feel compelled to answer the phone or respond to a text because you don’t want to be mean.
Be mean! It’s your right to do so.
Don’t entertain conversations that have nothing to do with the quality of your life. Sure people change; however if that person was manipulative, vindictive or a liar to you, I’m 100% positive that has not changed. Qualities like that are embedded into a person. The only difference is that they slice it up differently, slop some gravy on it and serve it to you with brown rice, instead of white. Guess what, neither are gluten free.
Have resolutions? Resolve the fact that you need closure, tell that sucka to kiss your pom-poms and make this year platinum. Or else, 2016 will be another year you wallow in the bullshit of closure.