Excerpts From The Novelization Of Fast & Furious 52: Alien Invasion
Family & Aliens
When the aliens invaded Earth and challenged Dom to a race, three laps around the island of Manhattan, he never in a million years would have guessed that he would lose to them.
Being 80 years old, Dom was now a seasoned street racer. He had overcome adversity in the past. Earthquakes. Heists. Super-slow Wi-Fi. An alien invasion, though foreign to him, was small beans.
“They’re aliens,” Dom thought to himself. “What the hell do they know about racing? What do they know about living their life a quarter mile at a time? Nothing…that’s what. They’re a buncha dumb aliens with weird tentacles and slimy green skin.”
Dom accepted the race. Winner would get the other’s vehicle. More importantly, if Dom won, he would be saving planet Earth from an alien takeover.
Dom had no use for a spaceship, but he thought it would look dope as fuck if he threw some 100” rims on it with a fire decal. He would probably sell it later for parts, so he could put all the money back into his 1968 Dodge Charger.
***
When the day of the race came, Dom was feeling confident. He drove to the meeting spot on fifth ave and pulled up next to the aliens. He rolled down the window.
“Sup, punks? Ready to get your asses kicked?” he said.
The leader of the alien pack, Jar-tu, smirked.
“Wise of you to think you can outrace us, stupid human. It is you who will get their ass kicked”
And just like that, Dom’s girlfriend waved the flag, signaling the start of the race. Dom and Jar-tu were off, speeding by boarded up stores.
Dom had raced outta the gate, and had an early lead.
Then, Jar-Tu fired a missile from his spaceship into the back of Dom’s Charger, causing Dom to spin outta control and into a ditch, upside down.
Jar-Tu laughed.
And laughed some more.
***
Nothing made Dom hungrier than revenge.
“I could eat a fucking bear and some spaghetti right now,” he thought.
Dom rummaged through the cupboards, but became increasingly pissed off when he discovered that he was all out of the good red sauce. He wasn’t about to chow down with some store-brand crap.
He let out a grunt and made a mental note to pick some up the next time he went to the store.
Not that he had any time to go grocery shopping.
The world is currently being invaded by aliens.
And everyone was expecting him to save the day.
How exhausting.
***
Luke Hobbs had showed up to Dom’s house in the middle of the night asking to talk to him.
It had been years since Hobbs and Dom had seen one another.
Dom doesn’t know why he stopped talking to Hobbs, but he thinks it had something to do with Hobbs breaking his Xbox back in the day. Or was it because Hobbs accidentally spoiled the series finale of The Office? Or perhaps it was because Hobbs ate all the red sauce and didn’t replace it. Some family he was.
But it didn’t matter.
Hobbs was now in Dom’s living room, looking disheveled.
Hobbs had a huge scar over his right eye.
“Look, you know what I’m here for,” Hobbs said to Dom. “We need each other and you know it. It’s our only hope if we wanna stop Jar-Tu.”
Dom hated when Hobbs was right.
“Fine,” Dom said. “What do you propose?”
“That we get faster and furiouser.”
“How do you suppose we do that?” Dom said with disgust in his voice.
“Easy,” Hobbs said. “By becoming one of them.”
Dom pulled out a liquid serum from his back pocket and flicked it with his finger.
“This shit right here will level the playing field,” Hobbs said.
Dom was confused.
“What the hell is that?”
“Alien-laced DNA. Manufactured by the United States. One shot of this and we’ll transform into Aliens ourselves.”
“That’s the stupidest shit I've ever heard,” Dom went. “How do we know it will work?”
“Only one way to find out.”
Dom and Hobbs injected the Alien DNA straight into their veins.
They waited for something to happen.
Something big.
Something to take out Jar-Tu.
***
Nothing happened.
Well, except a wicked bad allergic reaction that caused warts and boils to pop up over Hobbs and Dom’s body at record speed.
“HOBBS!” Dom screamed. “I’m gonna kill you, you stupid motherfu — ”
