“Ref You Suck!” - A Referee’s Point-of-View on Abuse from the Stands
Whether you’re a casual or a die-hard sports fan, you, or someone you know, have probably blamed a loss on a referee. If you’re one of the few who haven’t seen or heard fans slamming the referees for their on-ice performance, watch this video from the 2011 Stanley Cup Final in Vancouver:
Now, picture yourself, or your child, on the other side of the abuse. Imagine being one of those four referees, in a building with over 20,000 fans screaming and yelling at you, criticizing your every move. Intimidating, right? Well approximately three months before the video in Vancouver, and almost exactly seven years ago to this date, I was one of those referees.
I know, you’re probably thinking that there is no comparison between an NHL hockey game with over 20,000 fans and an Atom House League game with around 100 fans, but as a 14-year-old kid in his first year of refereeing, I can assure you that it felt the same.
For my partner and I, it started just like any other hockey game. We showed up to the rink, got into our gear, and headed onto the ice to drop the puck. The only difference between this game, and the other games I had done that season was that this was playoffs.
At the time I didn’t think anything of it, but seven years later I have come to realize that whether it is the Stanley Cup Playoffs, or the Atom House League Playoffs, winning one is like winning the other for players, coaches and parents.
Of course, both teams wanted and needed to win to advance to the next round, but someone must win, and someone must lose. The fans of the losing team typically forget that, and this game was no different. Most of the fans would let out a “Come On Ref!” or the typical “Boo’s” you hear when a penalty is called every once and a while, however, one lady in particular did not stop there.
This woman, while watching her nine or ten-year-old son play a recreational hockey game, continued to yell insult after insult towards us, the referees, who were not much older than her son. These insults continued until our supervisor, who was there to watch us and give us feedback, approached her and asked her to keep her comments to herself.
Instead of realizing what she was doing was wrong, she began to insult the supervisor along with another parent who attempted to intervene. This incident, along with two others, resulted in a letter being sent out to minor hockey associations from the District B Referee in Chief addressing this spike in abuse that referees were taking. In addition, the Ottawa Citizen picked this story up and published an article in their March 4th, 2011 edition.
Although this happened during my first year refereeing, this incident wasn’t the first time I had been yelled at by a fan, and it surely hasn’t been the last. It has, however, been something that has stuck with me throughout my refereeing career, and is something that I will never forget.
That incident didn’t stop me though; since then, I have heard many insults directed towards referees from spectators as a referee, a supervisor, and as a fellow fan. When I can, I try to remind them that refs are also people, and don’t enjoy being yelled at any more than anyone else. I also ask, “Would you say the same things to that kid if you were face-to-face?” or “How would you feel if someone was yelling at your kid like that?”.
Fast-forward almost eight years and I am now 21-years-old with much more confidence and experience than 14-year-old me when it comes to dealing with these situations. Now, as the Director of Discipline, a supervisor, and a mentor for District B, I do my best to train new officials so that they know how to handle situations like these when they arise.
Have you ever witnessed a situation like this? How did you react, and what would you do differently if you saw another similar situation?