SO MUCH TIME AND SO LITTLE TO DO

PART ONE: In the beginning…the end!

It seems I have reached a crisis in my life. I am suffering from a case of extreme existential ennui. In other words, I am quintessentially and preternaturally bored! I am, in the words of the freakingly insightful and oft foul-mouthed Iggy Pop, CHAIRMAN of the bored.

It was a few years ago when I realized this devastating disease had afflicted me. I’m not sure when or why precisely, but it was somewhere in the vicinity of New Years 2014. Suddenly I had an excess of time on my hands when the thought crossed my mind that I “should” do something.

Madonna

I have always been an active and even ambitious person, so the fact that I had to be busy all the times was nearly sacrosanct. But somehow on this particular day, I was merely aware of an emptiness. And quiet, low hum sensation of utter emptiness!

So being the good self-starter/type A- entrepreneurial type that I am, or at least was, I sat down with a spiral-bound notebook and started listing all things that I had been saying I had wanted to do all my life. And you me, I had quite a list! And, much of it already fulfilled.

Now this particular exercise had been something that would literally pump me up full of energy and excitement in the past. But today, something was different. I felt nothing. It was like I was detached from my own thoughts and feelings all the while observing myself going through the motions. Whatever it was, there was absolutely no feeling, no rush and no point in pursuing any of the ideas I had jotted down in my Bucket List diary notebook. In fact, there was very little reason to do anything at all.

When that thought went through my head, I knew that this was a crisis! Possibly a crise de coeur.

The Lizard with Golden Feathers, 1971 — Joan Miro (Lithograph in Colors)

PART TWO: In the end…the beginning! (Coming soon…)