Brad Pitt’s Production Meeting Transcripts
If you’ve never noticed before, you’ll notice now: Brad Pitt produces almost as many films as he appears in, and he is nearly ALWAYS a producer on a film that he stars in. When I watched The Big Short this week, I was reminded of this fact again when his name appeared on screen with the credit, along with Dede Gardner, Jeremy Kleiner, and Arnon Milchan, all of whom I’ve never heard of before (Gardner is the head of Pitt’s production company, Kleiner works for the company, Milchan is a billionaire film producer whose credits include Oscar bait 12 Years a Slave and Birdman).
I get the sense from this trend (and the fact that Brad Pitt has a production company that just turns out movie after movie featuring him in starring or co-starring parts) a certain amount of egotism on Pitt’s part, but the way I imagine Pitt in real life is kind of like the character he played in Ocean’s 11 — let’s forget the sequels — where he was somehow completely aloof and simultaneously the most aware guy in the room. He has an ego, but it’s not exactly a problem. He and Clooney were well-matched in those roles, as Clooney seems the same way. They are both too cool for school. They’re always going to get the part because they’re some of the best there has ever been, and that’s just the way it is.
So, with that in mind, I present to you (completely fictitious) transcripts of three production meetings held for Brad Pitt films over the last decade. Enjoy.
Production Meeting for
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
January 2005
Ridley Scott: So you don’t think she’s buying that, then?
Brad Pitt: I don’t think anyone’s buying it, honestly. But Angie and I will be in Kenya by April, so fuck ‘em.
Scott: Good enough. Do you want to talk about casting first?
Pitt: If you want to, by all means.
Scott: I do, but mostly just to tell you I’ve got a line out to James Carville about the Missouri governor role, I owe him a favor and I think this will just tickle him pink.
Pitt: (laughs) Sounds good, man.
Scott: Do you have thoughts on Jesse or Robert yet?
Pitt: I’m down to Casey Affleck or Shia LeBeouf on Ford… I thought James was already decided.
Scott: What do you mean? We haven’t spoken about it yet.
Pitt: I know, I know, but… (brushes hand through hair)
Scott: Oh, I understand.
Pitt: I mean…
Scott: Yes, well obviously that’s fine.
Production Meeting for
Moneyball
January 2010
Brad Pitt: We’re just not about the traditional stuff, man.
Michael De Luca: Hey, as long as you’re happy together.
Pitt: Always wanted to be a family man.
De Luca: Let’s get into this, if you don’t mind. We’re bring in Aaron Sorkin to make one more pass on this thing now that Soderbergh is out. We’re talking to Bennett and he’s into it if the schedule works.
Pitt: That sounds great, great. Can we talk about Demetri?
(Demetri Martin was originally cast as Paul DePodesta, Billy Beane’s assistant. This role was eliminated and the part of Peter Brand was created.)
De Luca: Martin? Yeah, what about him?
Pitt: I don’t like him.
De Luca: What? You were hot on him after he was in that Ang Lee movie.
Pitt: No, you’re right, I was. I remember.
De Luca: So what’s the problem?
Pitt: …he’s too funny.
De Luca: I’m sorry, what?
Pitt: He shouldn’t be funnier than me.
De Luca: He — you — Billy’s not really funny in the script, Brad. And actually Paul isn’t really, either, is he?
Pitt: It’s not that, it’s… (silence) …can’t we get someone short and fat instead?
Production Meeting for
The Big Short
August 2014
Adam McKay: He’s not coming?
Dede Gardner: No, you didn’t hear it from me, but Angie and him have a whole thing going on right now in France. You’ll see it in the tabloids soon enough.
McKay: It’s all good. I thought they didn’t go for all that traditional stuff?
Jeremy Kleiner: Let’s get started.
McKay: Okay.
Gardner: While we’re already talking about Brad, I guess now’s a good time as any to mention that we’re going to have to scale back his availability on the shoot schedule.
McKay: What? Why?
Kleiner: Brad has a lot going on right now with the kids…
Gardner: The charity…
Kleiner: Angie…
McKay: Okay, so how do we accomplish that with the script we have?
Gardner: …we were just thinking we change all those scenes to phone calls. And we just won’t show his side of the conversation.
McKay: So… in a movie full of phone conversations between characters, you want one character who hardly appears on screen?
Kleiner: That’s right.
McKay: I’m on my way to take over an Edgar Wright comic book movie later this afternoon, it’s not the worst news I’m getting today.
SVM
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