The roller coaster we call life

April 3, 2016

Last night was a great night. I was with a group of some of my best friends. We blasted the music, ate lots of good food, dressed up in each other’s clothes, and danced around the house like maniacs. I felt so free and crazy and for the first time I just let go from everything. I was asked, just me, to sleep over for the night. Eleanor and I went through her window and laid down on her roof, all snuggled up and cozy together, looking up at the dark empty sky. The world around us was absolutely silent and the only thing we could hear was the sound of each other’s breath. We talked for a while too, got to know one another to new heights and talked about life. We talked about how we met and how our friendship blossomed, our true thoughts about each other, and about our futures. It was amazing to hear her true thoughts about me and I could not stop smiling. We were laughing and singing and expressing deep inner thoughts that most people never get the chance to share. For the first time in a while I felt so genuinely happy. The world and the sky around us were so enormous and packed full with school, stress, social life, appearance, and so much more. But for that hour, we forgot about everything and nothing else in the world mattered besides the other person and being in the moment. The world felt so perfect; tiny but giant, exciting but scary, simple but complicated. There was only a single star visible in the sky and it stood out and shined so brightly, and at 11:11 we both held each other tight and made a wish. Totally random, and even more breathtaking is when we looked down Eleanor said she saw a bunny shooting a red laser out of its eyes, and I said saw a giant bunny in the shape of a shadow coming from the tree. Out of the blue and to our astonishment, a real live bunny goes running across her back yard. Neither of us knew what this meant, but we knew it was some kind of sign. By now it was about 1 AM and at the same time that I was at complete peace with myself and pure serenity, little did I know that my mother, my best friend in the entire world, was in the emergency room. When I awoke the next morning and my father came to pick me up, I was told that my mother was at the hospital due to a kidney stone. I struggled to hold back my tears. I wanted to know if she was okay, what exactly a kidney stone was, the treatment, and why they hadn’t told me sooner. I had to listen to my dad call the other family members informing them. My grandpa, my sisters, my brother, everybody having the same reactions because we all felt the same way. Our world, our sky, all revolved around that one bright, shining star, my mother. My world stopped because I could not imagine my life without her. It did not make sense to me, no matter how many times I tried to understand it in my head, how I could have been so happy and clueless that night and not have even the slightest clue that my mother was sick and in much pain. It is like two completely different worlds revolving, but with no idea of the other. How could this be, why couldn’t I comprehend this situation, it didn’t make logical sense to me. Why was the world such a messy place? Why didn’t my wishes that night come true? All I asked for was for myself and my family to be healthy and happy. Was that too much to ask? Why her, why us? Why do bad things happen to good people? I wanted answers…. but there were none. All I do know is that I am done. I am done getting caught up in dumb high school, teenager stuff, done picking fights with my parents, done getting jealous of other people, done being non appreciative of my life. For all I know all of it could go away in the blink of an eye, and while I still have it, I need to treasure it. I have the most amazing life in the world and could not ask for anything more. I am thankful for this night and this morning; for good friends, for family, and for my amazing life.