Who Are You?
For a long time, I’ve struggled so hard with trying to find out who I am.
Am I do-gooder? Am I a writer? Am I a blogger? Am I someone who loves to be in nature? Am I someone who loves the city? Am I someone who loves nice things? Am I someone who can do without? Am I someone who has insecurities? Am I someone who has a lot of confidence? Am I someone who wants to be free from everything and travel the world? Am I someone who wants to buy a condo in Manhattan and live a very glamorous life? Am I someone who wants to live fearlessly? Am I someone who’s afraid of life? Am I someone who is sad, happy, scared, introverted, the biggest extrovert you’ve ever met in your life? Am I humble, outspoken? Am I someone who loves my alone time? Am I someone who loves to be around people all of the time? Am I someone who speaks without filter? Am I someone who wants to be liked by everybody. Am I someone who doesn’t give a shit if people like me? Am I someone who is afraid of having people upset with me? Am I someone who doesn’t care if people are upset with me? Am I someone who wants stability? Am I someone who never wants to settle? Am I someone who is always working towards more? Am I someone who is afraid of not living up to my full potential? Am I someone who is afraid that I’ve reached my full potential?
While on my journey to self discovery over the last 32 years of my life, it has just now occurred to me that I am, in fact, every single one of these things. Why have I been soul-searching so long to find which one of these amazing and scary and exciting things I am? Why can’t I be all of these things? Why can’t I want all of this? Why do I have to choose one desire over the other?
This idea of settling into being one type of person is something that has always scared me. It’s also something I have never been able to conform to. And I think that’s really the keyword- conforming. Conforming to what society thinks I should be, how I should act, what I should say. What my parents want me to be (out of the goodness and love in their hearts.) Conforming to what friends, lovers, bosses, and everything in between, have been telling me I should be.
I realize right now, in this very moment, that I have been so unhappy not because of other people, but because of this idea I had that I needed to please everyone and be what everybody else wanted me to be.
I realized that I don’t have to be anything other than who I am. I don’t need to pinpoint one thing to be, one persona to define myself by, because I am truly all of these amazing things and that’s what makes me, me. I am a loud, quiet, obnoxious, kindhearted. opinionated, scared, insecure, confident, introverted extrovert from Brooklyn!
I’m a fighter. I don’t give up easily. I speak the truth. I fight for what I believe in. I strive for success. I strive to help others. I strive to make a difference in this world. I. strive to make a difference in my own life and live my life the way that I want it. Free of judgment from other people — something only I can control. Choosing not to let other people’s opinions affect the ground I stand upon. Affect my core roots. Affect the women I am. A confident women who is finally learning to break free of the labels put upon her not by others, but herself.
This journey of life is really all about expressing who you are, finding your true voice and your roots. Being grounded in the comfort that no matter what, you will always have yourself. No matter what, you will always find a way to make things work.even when you’ve hit rockbottom. Even if you have to take 10 steps ahead and leave people behind. That’s OK. Because along your journey to your own self-preservation and discovery, you will find people just like you who have even more complexities than you. So live your fucking life the way YOU want to! At the end of it all, it all comes back to you.
Do you. Stay true. Fuck everything else!
So I ask you now, with no judgment — Who are you?