How To Love Yourself and Be Confident - 3 Practical Methods

Silence the voice that creeps up occasionally and feeds you lies.

7 min readMay 22, 2023

Love yourself might be one of the most common phrases we use in our daily lives.

It’s one of the phrases motivational speakers use relentlessly to promote their book or get you to listen to their podcast.

But..

What if you find it challenging to implement empowerment strategies in your day-to-day life?

At times we find ourselves turning to them and dishing out this advice becoming a shoulder of comfort for friends, family and colleagues.

Have you ever thought about how often you practice self-love techniques?

Think about how often you look in the mirror and say;

“I love myself."
“I’m proud of my accomplishments."
“I deserve the world”.
“I am God’s favorite”.

I don't want you to get me wrong, self love isn't about talking to yourself, but believing in the words and putting it into action to create the best version of yourself.

Self-love enables you to give the same love shown to others.

Otherwise, you’ll find yourself overextending yourself or putting other people’s needs above yours. You will struggle with setting boundaries.

Once you train yourself to come in second place you will always place others above you at the expense of your happiness, goals, desires and aspirations.

You’ll always seek love and approval from others because you don’t know what self-love looks like.

Train yourself to seek and accept the love you deserve.

The one you unconditionally pour on yourself. The root of self-love starts with self-compassion, self worth and self-esteem.

If you’re reading this article then you’re on the road to learning self care, self-love and personal growth.

It’s tough to say that you’ll wake up one day and suddenly love yourself.

This journey demands understanding, patience and grace. Don't worry, taking baby steps will eventually lead to the day you'll be proud of what you've accomplished.

1. Believe in yourself.

You don’t have to wait or seek other people’s approval. Believe that your skills, passion, abilities and personality are enough. Everyone might appear confident but they also have doubts like you. You can start by trying to cultivate body positivity if that’s an area you really need to work on.

They just know how to cover it up with confidence. Don’t mistake self-belief for arrogance.

This technique is aimed at overcoming self-doubt. No one was born confident. As a result, they had to create a mask, and they realized the joys it brought.

Eventually they forgot to ‘act’ confidently because their bodies became used to that feeling.

So, fake it till you make it.

Have faith in your own abilities and pay little to no attention to comparing yourself with others.

Authenticity might be what sets you apart from the crowd.

Remember that everyone has their own journey. Once you believe in yourself, self doubt will fly out the window and you can get things done not perfectly but to the best of your ability.

Below are 6 ways to believe in yourself.

° Do away with negativity.

Silence that voice that tells you that you can’t do anything. Have a positive mindset and don’t sink into the idea of repeating past mistakes. Despite the fact that a reasonable idea may seem absurd, follow your heart.

° Be your own advocate.

Be the person you need. Start with yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.

° Surround yourself with the right people.

Choose people that see your potential, support you or are heading where you’d like to be. You’re a sum of the friends you hang out with.

° Look for lessons.

Every day should be a learning day. Allow yourself to make mistakes and accept it as part of learning. You don’t have to be perfect you just have to try.

° Face your fears.

We all have fears we consider ‘uncontrollable’. Turn your fears to adventures and use them as an opportunity to learn and grow.

° Practice gratitude.

Shift your focus from the problems and appreciate the small things in your life. It’s easy to be critical so how about turning that energy into gratitude?

Foster inner happiness and try to see the best in every situation.

2. Turn to an activity you loved as a kid.

If you enjoyed a certain activity returning to it will breed familiarity and boost your self-confidence.

If you love cycling, dedicate 10 minutes to go out on cycling adventures, racing tournaments or a casual stroll around the block.

This will awaken the happiness, comfort and peace you once felt during your childhood days.

12 Activities to boost your self-love and confidence:

Nature walks.
Solving puzzles.
Blowing bubbles.
Going for a swim.
Crawling or rolling on the grass.
Throwing and chasing balls.
Looking at different colored cars.
Listening to birds.
Playing in the sand or the mud.
Join a choir.
Joining a drama club.
Playing an instrument.

3. Start a self-love journal and practice positive self-talk.

Practicing positive self-talk comes in the form of mindfulness, self-compassion exercises or mantras to help you approach the day with love.

This technique will reduce your anxiety and improve your emotional well-being and confidence. It’s okay to feel down and negative. Everyone feels like this at one point in their lives.

It might be helpful to say out loud:

“Everyone feels like this sometimes”,

“May I be loving, gentle, and understanding to myself today”.

Starting a journal can be fun but we need to dedicate it to document memories that will cultivate self-love and boost your confidence levels.

Document one thing you’re grateful for each day.

Write down positive affirmations once in a while that you can return to if you’re feeling low.

You can also try incorporating the “I Am” strategy.

Examples of “I am” affirmations:

“I am successful”.
“I am confident “.
“I am getting better every day”.
“ I am living in abundance”.

“ I am strong”.
“I am powerful”.
“ I am loved”.
“ I am enough”.

“ I am grateful for everything.”
“I am healthy”.
“ I am accepting of myself”.
“ I am constantly improving”.

“ I am constantly evolving to become a better version of myself”.
“I am forgiving myself”.
“ I am a go-getter”.
“ I am loyal.”
“I am creative.”

“ I am a force to be reckoned with”.
“ I am beautiful inside and out.”

3 Frequently Asked Questions

1. What are the three main points about self-love?

Give yourself a break from self-judgement.

You’re probably tired of hearing people list things that are wrong with you. Don’t engage and feed your mind with negativity all day.

Be nice to yourself.

You are a nice person regardless of how much money you make, how many friends you have, the life you live or the career you choose. Remember you deserve every good thing life has to offer.

Forgive yourself.

We all make mistakes. Take lessons from your past experiences and allow yourself to move forward from them. Accept that you did the best you could at that time. It’s probable that if you had a time machine, you could have changed everything.

However, now that you don’t, accept it and let it go. Allow yourself to make mistakes and trust yourself to make informed decisions concerning your life.

2. How can I increase my confidence and love myself?

Believe in yourself. Also, engage in activities you loved as a kid. This will boost your self-confidence. Start a self-love journal and practice positive self-talk.

3. What are the four stages of self-love?

1. Self-Awareness.
2. Self-Acceptance.
3. Self confidence.
4. Self-Love.

Thank you for reading. Clap and follow for more.

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