It’s odd when it feels like a television show is looking at you. Staring right at you.
It will be invisible to a lot of people. But I’ve also seen this recognition all around me. It only takes a few words, but we all just sort of know that the show sees us.
And then we see each other.
Sometimes my throat tightens up at night. I don’t know why it happens. But my brain jumps to conclusions now that it never would have jumped to before. Someone is choking you. Wake up. WAKE UP. And I sit up, and…
Gaslighting is the attempt of one person to overwrite another person’s reality. There’s a good chance that you now know more about gaslighting than most therapists. And that is really unfortunate, because if you have experienced gaslighting, it’s going to be really hard to untangle it yourself. Unfortunately, you may have to, and I want to tell you that you are not alone. Let me share my experience. Here are 10 things I wish I’d known at the beginning. Let’s do this together.
1. Gaslighting doesn’t have to be deliberate
A couple of years ago, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital. I said I was suicidal in order to guarantee my stay. I lied. I wasn’t suicidal, I just couldn’t go home. I sat in the car and tried to think of a way that I could injure myself enough to be hospitalized, but not so much that the crash would do permanent damage. How fast would I have to be going in order to break a bone, but avoid brain damage? 30, 40, 50 mph? Instead, I drove myself to the hospital, and checked myself in. “How you…