Death Anxiety

Irvin Yalom’s work Staring at the Sun is a volume that anyone interested in meaning-of-life questions, should have in their library. The issues that Yalom discusses related to death anxiety are fundamental to the human condition. I’ve read some of Yalom’s work before, and I think that his perspective is a critical addition to the broader mental health literature. The psychotherapy field is one that is striving to be empirical and scientific, and that is all for the good. But it is easy to lose sight of the importance of such existential concerns when one is focused on empirical matters alone. As Yalom teaches, it is not always easy to notice at first glance when the issue is much deeper than surface explanations. For example, death anxiety can manifest in ways that seem like something different altogether. A naive practitioner may only work on this surface level, but Yalom can get us to start to think in terms of further investigations.

Death anxiety is something that comes directly from a core aspect of what living a human life is all about. We are mortal beings. And more importantly, we are mortal beings who are aware of that fact. And it is this awareness that, sometimes consciously, but oftentimes unconsciously manifests in other forms. Everything from explicit meaning of life questions to relationship troubles to daily worry and stress, the fear of death is often at the root of such things. And the most important point that Yalom is giving us is that these things are often considered totally different and unrelated to anything having to do with death. Yet, on the contrary, Yalom’s case studies and discussion highlight how death looms near in such issues.

I am personally intrigued by the therapeutic style that Yalom conveys. One can already tell that he has a real philosophical bent, and it is interesting how he has a background in medicine, being an M.D., yet through psychiatry he found that ultimately his home was in the existential realm. It isn’t that he doesn’t portray a sense of practicality, but there is such a big difference between medication management, the daily task of most psychiatrists today, and his existential approach. In a sense, he embodies the inescapable interconnectedness of the different strands of human life, from neurotransmitters to the problems of mortality.

I also like Yalom’s approach to writing. I think that the interplay between clinical case studies and philosophic/therapeutic reflection is a dynamic that really keeps the reading interesting and motivating. He delves long enough into general discussion of such heavy issues, and then he uses multiple case examples to extract those very issues from the thicket of a clinical relationship. I find that very useful, especially in this case, because the nature of the subject matter can indeed get so heavy and abstract that the concreteness of actually describing a client and their situation can give things grounding. It also gives a future practitioner like myself some real fuel for being cognizant of such issues lurking in the background of any client’s “stuff.”

On a personal level, I can sense certain things about myself about reading this book. I have definitely had issues of different sorts come up that are related to death anxiety. And as with the cases in this book, they have come up indirectly. Sure, I have had the conscious fear of death many times in my life, but certain issues of anxiety have manifested for me that I do think have death anxiety at their root.

Something that I have noticed that I do is I have tendency to think of my life as whole. I think some people might view their lives in this way, but I do it on a regular basis. What I mean by that is I often imagine what my life is going to “mean” or symbolize once it is done. I think of where I am going at any given period in terms of what long-term goals everything is in the service of. So I don’t really have this sort of ability to be nonchalant about my life purpose. I think a big reason that I am such an explorer is in order to touch as much as I can, to devote my life to something that contributes in a much bigger way, and to give a certain meaning to my life as whole.

I can’t help but feel that many other people lack this tendency. Maybe they lack death anxiety in that unconscious kind of way that Yalom discusses. These are the kinds of people that don’t seem to have much drive or even interests in life. They may just work whatever job they fell into and just go about their daily life without a broader narrative. And oftentimes they are fine with it all. On the way hand, they may be easily judged, yet on the other, they have a kind of contentment and acceptance that might be enviable to the more existentially anxious go-getters.

Sometimes my perception of people who seem to live that way is that it must be depressing, but that is probably because I tend to think in those real big symbolic terms about my life. And after reading this book, I think much of that may stem from unconscious death anxiety. I want to leave a certain legacy in the form of my life and work that will hopefully be remembered after I die or at least make the kinds of positive ripples that Yalom mentions. Death anxiety can manifest in negative ways, for sure. But I also think (and Yalom recognizes this too), that our mortality, and our awareness of it, can imbue our lives with a deep and rich meaning that we’d otherwise lack.