Feb 28
WORLD OF BEAUTY
World of beauty, bright shining blue sky with yellowing leaves falling, me smiling;
World of numbers and money and inspection dates and repairmen and statements and emails and receipts; I hate moving.
World of cabinets and drawers, reams of paper with symbols of inked words written by me, I think. Trying to sort through, throw away. Head into cabinets pulling things out blowing off dust, wiping the cabinet inside twice because of the streaks. Dust will outlive us;
I don’t want to end up stuck in a cabinet somewhere;
World of people far away but even if they are here I don’t see them; I wonder why that is everyone is so busy and so our voices have turned to phrases and incomplete sentences;
And I am the worst offender;
World of a picture or two sent; frozen in a moment which has already passed I see them more in my prayers and dreams than in person;
I have been calling people honey lately as if I know them but I don’t. But because they are sweet and I like that, I call them honey. I think I sound like my mother. Do I? Do I sound like her? When she was nice, when she called people honey? Oh, I miss my mother, I call them honey because I miss her.
Strangers took my picture yesterday as I enjoyed the big blue and yellow shimmering, shining sky; I looked like myself yesterday;
You have to let people be, even if you want more from them. I know some people want more from me too and I know how that feels it’s much better to enjoy what you get and walk around in that beautiful sunlight blue and yellow shiny day being happy.
And the world changed. Another month and here it is Winter in the cycle we have invented, not the cycle of nature but we have to be able to keep our minds organized or somehow make meaning from dates and times, and yet I like the emptiness and the silence best of all. The shining glimmering silence as light bounces around in the blue and yellow and sometimes gray world comforts me more than any schedule.
I remember your voices and I remember how you walk. And laugh. And I think Oh, look at all of the human beings in this world!
All the human beings, and cada cabeza es uno mundo — every head is a world.
Suzanne copyright 2022
Mitakuye Oyasin: all my relations (Lakota). We are all connected.
